A friend of mine told me that a recent issue of Oprah’s magazine included an article about binge eating. According to the article, a person has binge eating disorder if he binge eats twice a week for six months.
I died laughing when my friend told me this.
I did not laugh because I disagree. I laughed because binge eating only twice a week for six months falls close to my definition of being “cured” of binge eating. If I could dial it back to twice a week, I would be feeling like I had conquered my eating disorder and doing a jig.
I guess it is only now hitting me just how f@#$ed up I was (and still am in a lot of ways). While many people might look at my aftereffects today and see the profile of a person with serious post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) issues, I see myself as doing pretty well compared to where I was. I guess it is all relative.
I got to thinking about the dissociation continuum. On the far left is normal dissociation, and on the far right is dissociative identity disorder (DID). PTSD falls right in the middle.
A mere three years ago, I will still living on the very far right as a person with DID. Since then, I have been dialing it back and moving toward PTSD on the continuum. To me, this is major progress. However, I must recognize that I still have a long way to go to be on the other side of PTSD on the continuum. I also need to face that I might never get there.
Also, DID comes with its own issues, so those were my focus. The PTSD elements were not as severe as the DID ones, so they were not a priority for the few first years of my healing.
Now that I am becoming healthier, the PTSD stuff is bothering me more. It was always there, but it was comparatively less severe. As I dial it back, I see that there is still work aplenty to do.
Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
Twice a week, you say? Ha! That’s hilarious! If only….
On a more positive note, I’m so glad that you can see your progress. That must be such a wonderfully empowering feeling. I’m truly happy for you Faith – you deserve every ounce of progress and happiness that comes your way.
Kerro
Call me a conspiracist but i cant help thinking that theres a delibrate ignorance towards the effects of child abuse in adults. The knowledge is there and surely theres plenty of bright people working in mental health, but….i think theres an agenda at a high level to not accept the very obvious damage that abuse causes. Its all part of an abusive society that just wants us to accept what happens without reacting in life.
Well its not going to happen because im not going to shut-up about it until ive passed away.
Do you agree Faith that theres a deliberate ‘dumbing down’ of information out there???
Simon
I definitely believe that there is a movement, for lack of a better word, to invalidate the word of child abuse survivors — the stuff about therapist’s implanting memories, etc. I am not saying that has never happened, but this assumption that every always remembers every trauma is completely untrue and invalidates anyone who suffered from trauma at a very young age.
I also see a “movement” invalidating ritual abuse memories.
Take care,
- Faith