I am woefully behind on going through old emails and comments, but I did want to address this one. On my blog entry entitled Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and Conflicting Alter Parts, a reader posted the following comment:
After 27 yrs of playing off as ‘normal’ to the world, how are we now supposed to find a therapist and how are we supposed to present ourselves? Do we just call up some random psych office and say “Hi. I have DID, but I’ve never seen a therapist. You available?” or what?? ~ AndrAia
If you are healing from DID, you need a therapist. I tried to do it alone at first, but healing from severe child abuse is too grueling to do alone. You really need the guidance of a professional to help you navigate the healing waters, at least in the early stages of healing.
You can go in one of two directions when you are looking for a therapist – you can focus on the DID, or you can focus on the underlying trauma. While both ways involve healing from the trauma, you are coming at it from two different perspectives. If you are seeking to heal the DID, your initial focus will likely be upon managing the DID. If you are seeking to heal the trauma, then the DID is viewed as a symptom, but the focus is on what caused the DID.
I, personally, worked with a therapist whose therapy was the same as for anyone with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I eventually told him about the alter parts, but he simply saw them as aftereffects, just like the binge eating, self-injury, etc. He said that I needed to talk about the abuse until I no longer felt the need to talk about it any longer. He challenged anything I told myself (such as that I was unlovable) that was not healthy. When I integrated alter parts and eventually the host personality, it happened between sessions. My therapist was not involved in communication between the parts or anything like that.
Neither way is “right” or “wrong,” but you need to decide which avenue is your biggest concern to get started. There are fewer therapists who specialize in working with DID patients, but they are out there. If you happen to live in Florida or Colorado, I have heard that there are practices that do nothing but work with DID patients.
Next, you want to make sure that you get a referral (if possible) for a therapist and ask for his or her credentials. Only work with a therapist with experience with survivors of severe child abuse. I, personally, believe it is important to work with someone who has a degree in psychology. I would not use a Christian counselor because our issues are far too extreme for the training that Christian counselors receive. Also, you will likely cycle through being angry with God, and you don’t need to hear that this very normal part of healing is a “sin.”
My therapist let me screen him by phone before our first meeting. I felt better when he said he had worked with someone else who had suffered from mother-daughter sexual abuse. I had a good feeling about him by phone. The first session was nerve-wracking but a good foundation for therapy.
Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt






Great post! This is such an important issue. I would say that if at all possible try and find a DID or at least trauma/dissociation-experienced therapist.
As you say, someone who knows how to work with severe childhood trauma is essential.
The ISSTD has a find-a-therapist page – not sure if this link will work?
http://www.isst-d.org/find-a-therapist/disclaimer-find-therapist.htm
I also had a lot of trouble with therapists claiming they knew about DID but it quickly became painfully apparent that they didnt.
It’s a hard road but well worth it if you find the right one.
It worked for me! The therapist called me back immediately. Thanks so much!
How do you know when you no longer talk need to talk about the abuse?
I’m feeling stuck in therapy right now. When T asks me what I want to talk about today I don’t know. I’ve told a lot of stories of abuse and I could go on with that forever. I don’t know what to do?
Any advise?
If I had to find a therapist now I would ask have you ever worked with someone who has complex PTSD/DID and they no longer need therapy. Their answer would be more important than if they had done such work.
I would also want to know how they felt about medication. If they thought it was always necessary I would not work with them any more than I would if they thought it never was.
It is OK to trust your instincts.
I would not trust a therapist who thought they were right for every person.
Unfortunately how hard you work is more important than than the therapist.
Faith gave excellent information.
I really appreciate your writings. I have been diagnosed with D.I.D. and even after 7 yrs. of therapy I will still spend time in very few sessions arguing the fact that I am D.I.D. I did want to say something in regards to Christian therapist, they are not all the same. I see a Christian clinical psychologist who’s priority is to keep me safe and trusting him at all times. He has a masters in theology and knows there is no place for blaming the wounded. God does not operate that way. When I am in his office I am taught the reality of a loving God who hates what happened to me and never blames me for any part of it. Instead He looks upon me with an endless love that is more than willing to heal me. There is no blame, shame or guilt put upon me for my feelings or whatever they may be. These sessions that are combined with my doctors skill and his spiritual reliance on the power of God to heal the brokenhearted, broken in spirit, broken bodies has helped me in so many ways. Sadly, I now see all to clearly how lacking the church is in actually being what Christ has called her to be-a place where all can belong and be safe.
Hi Faith. Thank you for posting about this topic. I know there must be several people out there who are/were in the same boat I was/am.
Good news to announce. We’ve taken everything you and others have told us in regards to finding a therapist and we’re pretty sure we just found a good one! Even our more reluctant side is eager to meet said therapist (we’ve got an appointment coming up, but we’re excited about it, not dreading the thought of it) and not for the sole purpose of tearing this person to shreds on a mental level (she’s been known to do that).
Thank you for your courage and advice and for everything you’ve gone through to pave a way for those following you. I’m sorry you had to go through all that you did, but I’m glad you’re here for those of us who are/were lost as well. You truly are an inspiration to many many people (us included) and we can’t say Thank You enough. God Bless You in All You Do.
-Andrs
Can you tell me if you know someone in North Carolina that can help with DID/Ritual Abuse? I called around the Wiston-Salem area and they did not even know what Ritual Abuse was. I don’t understand that, but am trying to find someone willing to help me.
Thank you.
Main Number: 919 408.3212 Ext. #23 Sandra Underwood Bennett, M.A.
I’ve already called her for myself. I hope she’ll be good. The doctors in the Chapel Hill are are excellent. Good luck!
Hi, Renee.
I have sent you an email to the email address to linked to your comment.
- Faith
[...] found this post by Faith Allen interesting as it speaks to my own experiences of finding a therapist as a person with [...]