Minimizing Abuse: “Other People Had it Worse”

This series is focusing on the issue of struggling with focusing on your own needs. The series begins here. Here is the last part of the reader’s email: And I feel selfish for thinking sometimes that soooooooo many people have been abused that my experience is diminished because it almost seems like it’s the norm [...]

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Is it Selfish to Share your Child Abuse Story?

This series is focusing on the issue of struggling with focusing on your own needs. The series begins here. Here is the next part of the reader’s email: I think it’s probably a very important part of healing to “tell your story” but does it become selfish to spend so much time and emotion on [...]

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Discomfort with Focusing Attention on Yourself and Your Own Needs

A reader sent me an insightful email asking questions about whether other child abuse survivors feel uncomfortable with focusing on their own needs. My answer was a resounding YES! In fact, I would say that this is the norm for child abuse survivors. This reader really needs validation from other child abuse survivors (not just [...]

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Shouldn’t God be Expected to Protect Children?

**** Religious Triggers **** On my blog entry entitled Getting Past Feeling like God Deserted You after Child Abuse, a reader posted the following comment: For the last 10 years I would call myself an atheist because I can’t believe in a god who is all powerful and all knowing that would not intervene while [...]

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Triggered at a Party

I got triggered at a Halloween party over the week. As I have shared before, I do not go to parties very often because I inadvertently commit some sort of faux pas that makes me look like an idiot. So, to the extent I am even invited to parties (intense people are hardly party material!), [...]

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Rough Day Today … Triggered

Today has been a rough day. It started with my son’s asthma flaring up. His trigger is viruses, so even simple sniffles or a runny nose can cause him to start coughing. He has third grade End of Grade Test benchmarks this week, so the last thing he needed was (1) less sleep from coughing, [...]

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It’s Not Just My Family that is Flaky!

As I have shared on my blog, my birth family is not a part of my life. I only stay in touch with my sister, but even with her, it more about me doing things for her than a reciprocal relationship. In many ways, I feel like an orphan. I have no expectation of anyone [...]

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Losses After Child Abuse That Aren’t Talked About

I spend a good part of last week doing some heavy housecleaning. I “reclaimed” our pantry (again) after hub hogged the pantry for his vending machine business for a few years. He sold the machines early last year and never cleaned his s@#$ out. I finally set aside several hours to throw out all of [...]

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90210 Gets it Right re: Reaction to Dying Abuser

Last week, I shared that the television show 90210 is dealing with the reaction of child abuse survivors to learning the news that an abusive mother is terminally ill. The storyline continued this week, and I am pleased with the direction that it is taking. You can read more details about the storyline on my [...]

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Why are Child Abuse Survivors Afraid to Say No?

I recently had a conversation with a fellow child abuse survivor. She is dealing with some family issues with in-laws who “act inappropriately.” Most people would knock the teeth out of anyone doing these inappropriate things, but, as a child abuse survivor, this woman is conflicted. She knows that the behavior is unacceptable and protects [...]

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