**** Religious Triggers ****
On my blog entry entitled Getting Past Feeling like God Deserted You after Child Abuse, a reader posted the following comment:
For the last 10 years I would call myself an atheist because I can’t believe in a god who is all powerful and all knowing that would not intervene while children get hurt. That’s just so hard for my head to wrap around. … You said that god never promised to save children from harm, but shouldn’t it be expected from an all powerful being? … I remember begging for god to show himself to me and to help me with this burden. I gave him an ultimatum (I know who am I to give god an ultimatum) that if he didn’t show himself to me then I was done. I waited ….he never came. I downed 150 pills and drank some alchohol. Fortunately/Unfortunately? I survived. … I can’t remember exactly how the parable goes but the gist was that the shepherd left the 99 and went back to save the 1. Isn’t that essentially gods promise to save us? ~ Journey
You can read Journey’s full comment here. (Journey – I LOVE your screen name!)
Journey’s question is basically, “Shouldn’t an all-powerful being be expected to protect children?” Despite what you might have heard from well-meaning religious people, the answer to this question is no. I wrestled with this issue when I read the book The Shack by William Paul Young. See my blog entry entitled Words of Wisdom from “The Shack”: Do Children Have a “Right” to be Protected?.
Our innate feelings about justice and fairness scream that, if someone is all powerful, that power should be used to protect the weak and powerless. In the Bible, God Himself mandated this numerous times, telling his people to take care of the widow, orphan, and alien (the weak and helpless in that time period). Protecting the weak is our jobs as adults. We cannot just sit back and wait for divine intervention – We must take a stand and protect children, not because they have a right to be protected but because we love them.
For whatever reason (probably to fill the pews and collection plates), many religious people have sold us a bill of goods, saying that if you believe in God, He will keep you safe. That is simply not Biblical. Jesus Himself was crucified, as was Peter. Stephen was stoned to death. Saul murdered numerous Christians before his conversion. There is no place in the Bible that promises us heaven on earth. Our earthly lives are about growth, not security and safety.
Because some religious people have filled their pews by selling the lie that God will keep everyone safe, they have erected barriers to those of us who were not safe as children. I do believe that God does ultimately keep us safe, but that is spiritually, not physically or emotionally. I actually believe in reincarnation, which adds a whole different dimension to being safe. If you believe that you have one life and then you die forever, you are going to be angry about your lot in life and experiences. You will also view a short life as a tragedy.
However, if you believe in reincarnation, you see that this life and its hardships are only just a tiny sliver of your experiences. I am always okay because nothing can harm me (the spirit). My body might suffer and will eventually die, but I am not my body. My spirit transcends this one lifetime. I am here to learn life lesson, which will forever shape who I am becoming. However, as I let go of the expectation of being physically safe on earth, I also let go of the fear of being forever harmed by anything that anyone ever does to me. I am only here on earth for a little while, and my worries and concerns in this life will be meaningless after I return to spirit form. The one exception is the connection I make with others – that transcends this lifetime.
As for God not coming to you that night – I think it was God’s coming that prevented 150 pills and alcohol from taking your life. My experience has been that God always shows up, but I cannot always hear him when I am overwhelmed with my emotions. I must first pour out all of the pain before there is room inside to fill up with His peace. I suspect you passed out before you got to that point. I would encourage you try again. Lock yourself in a room and tell God that you are not leaving until He makes Himself known to you. Begin by getting out your anger. Yell and scream, punch pillows, and bless Him out. This will uncork the tears. Let yourself cry the tears until you cannot cry any longer. This is the point at which you will feel God’s presence. Right now, you have too many emotions drowning out His voice.
Also, remember that God’s voice is found in a whisper, not in something dramatic. It is also found through others who reach out to you. Sometimes we need a version of God with skin. :0)
Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
Nice post! Thank you
I do not agree that children don’t have the right to protection. They most definitely do.
The problem is who is doing the protecting. This is part of why I think religion is bs. Belief is not, but religion is, because just like rumors, history and it’s messages get distorted through the years, and most of the people writing the bible were the rich or powerful. The only people with education at the time. And the whole dinosaur thing… that kills me!
Anyway, that is not the kind of God I can believe in, too much contradiction. Too much denial… Another 14 year old girl disappeared in S. Florida yesterday. It is suspected that human traffickers abducted her. I’m in a shit mood. God can go get F@&*%ed as far as I’m concerned.
Good post Faith! And I do mean that.
mia
That post really made me think. I like that thought that it is us to be responsible to make things right and protect children. And after reading the bible a lot and reading about many religions I came to think that there is not only one lifetime. I can not exactly explain why but it makes sense to me and helps to live – that is the important thing isn’t it.
Thanks for your great blog!
I too am a victim of years of childhood sexual abuse by my parents. Here is my take on God. I have been asked countless times, Aren’t you angry with God? How can you still have your faith? etc. The answer is simple for me. I have never been angry with God or doubted my faith because of my past. I have no other explaination for how I survived my demons other than that God held me in his hands. Bad things happen to good people. It is a fact of life that is hard for us to understand. But here I am at 57 years old, healed, whole and writing a book of hope and help for other victims. There are still residual affects but my life is good, and I thank God!
Roberta
Faith, I thought this was a really good post. I feel like I am so stuck in this area of my healing. I feel like I have grown and healed so much over the last few years, but I remain confused and anxious and tied up in knots over the issue of what is true about God (whether anything is true), and what my response is to be. Even when I am doing really well in other areas, I remain deeply anxious and can be easily brought to tears in talking about God and my relationship to him. I don’t know how to heal in this area. Yes, I came into the healing process from a place of deep personal faith, and yes, the forms of abuse I experienced centered around Christian spirituality, so it makes sense that this is where I feel most conflicted. What do you do when you find yourself really stuck in one area of healing?
[...] 6:55 am Tags: feeling stuck in healing, not making progress in healing On my blog entry entitled Shouldn’t G*d be Expected to Protect Children?, a reader posted the following [...]