On my blog entry entitled Shouldn’t G*d be Expected to Protect Children?, a reader posted the following comment:
***** religious triggers *****
Faith, I thought this was a really good post. I feel like I am so stuck in this area of my healing. I feel like I have grown and healed so much over the last few years, but I remain confused and anxious and tied up in knots over the issue of what is true about God (whether anything is true), and what my response is to be. Even when I am doing really well in other areas, I remain deeply anxious and can be easily brought to tears in talking about God and my relationship to him. I don’t know how to heal in this area. Yes, I came into the healing process from a place of deep personal faith, and yes, the forms of abuse I experienced centered around Christian spirituality, so it makes sense that this is where I feel most conflicted. What do you do when you find yourself really stuck in one area of healing? ~ Blue Orchid
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For those of you who skipped the religious triggers, the bottom line question is what to do “when you find yourself really stuck in one area of healing.”
Someone over at Isurvive gave me some great advice: Only move as fast as the slowest part of yourself is ready to move. I have not always heeded that advice, but I do think it is good advice nonetheless.
Sometimes, when I am really “stuck” in an area of healing, I choose to respect that I am not yet ready to heal that part of myself. There are so many areas of my life that needed (and continue to need) healing. I don’t need to “force” myself to heal a wound that is not yet ready to heal. Sometimes the best course of action is to give yourself permission to “stay sick” for a little while longer.
If you choose to do this, you also need to choose to be compassionate toward yourself. For example, I have been very slow in healing myself sexually. I used to beat myself up for this. Now, I simply recognize that my slow pace in healing this area of myself is indicative of how deep of a wound I have. I need to love myself through my sluggishness. Sometimes progress is made simply in ceasing the negative thoughts toward your lack of progress.
***** religious triggers *****
I did go through a period in which I was extremely triggered by religion. I called a couple of Christian friends and told them I needed support and prayer because I was too triggered even to pray for myself. They came to my house and prayed with me. I don’t know what God did, but something powerful happened during their prayer, and I was healed from that particular issue. If you have Christian friends that you really trust, this might work for you, too.
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Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
Wise words, as always.
Happy New Year, Faith.
Sending peace and light,
mia
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Dr. Kathleen Young, Faith Allen. Faith Allen said: Feeling “Stuck” #Healing from #ChildAbuse http://faithallen.wordpress.com/2009/12/31/feeling-%E2%80%9Cstuck%E2%80%9D-in-an-area-of-healing/ [...]
This is very sage counsel and a startlingly new perspective. We are just finding our players and don’t know who all is in here really. It’s very surprising how so many parts can be so different in their tolerances thoughts memories and emotional abilities. Some of them are very very young so this advice could not have come at a better time. Thank you!
This is good advice… It’s natural for some areas of our healing to move at a different pace than other areas. For a long long time, I used to lump them all together, but that was because I didn’t know how to look at them separately. I was just a dissociated mess. Happy 2010 to you.
Hi Faith…
Glad to see you back….
I have recently discovered how important pacing yourself during your healing is. This is something new I have had to practice in order to maintain my sanity. Unfortunately sometimes the people around you don’t necessarily get it because our wounds are invisible.
Fat Girl Oreo