Quick Check-in Message

Hi, everyone. I just got home from California (across the country) at 6:00 a.m. I took my son to Disneyland for the week, and we had lots of delays in getting home. My laptop died on the first leg of the trip, and I just bought a new one today. This is why I have [...]

Read Full Post »

Gatekeeper, Observer, or “Knowing” Alter Parts

On my blog entry entitled Faith Allen’s Story – Expulsion Ceremony, a reader posted the following question: Something I am wondering… most people I have known with DID have an alter part that is the “observer” or “knower”- a part that has been there all along and has kept an awarness of what has happened [...]

Read Full Post »

Necessity of Therapy

On my blog entry entitled Faith Allen’s Story – Refusing Therapy, a reader posted the following question: Do you find that somethings can just not be done alone? ~ MFF MFF was referring to whether therapy is necessary in order to heal from some elements of child abuse. The short answer is yes – I [...]

Read Full Post »

Faith Allen’s Story – My Healing Journey

I forgot that I have already blogged about my healing journey. So, rather than rewrite it all again (even though there is some overlap with what I have already shared), I will provide you with the links to follow that story here. This will end my series on my story. Thank you for taking the [...]

Read Full Post »

Faith Allen’s Story – God’s Intervention in My Healing

*******trigger warning — religion******* As I shared before, one concern I had about beginning therapy was the cost. The therapist I found was not covered by my insurance, but I really wanted to work with him. How was I going to explain to hub that I wanted to spend hundreds of dollars a month on [...]

Read Full Post »

Faith Allen’s Story – Beginning Therapy

I had decided to find a therapist, but I had absolutely no idea how to go about finding one. I certainly was not just going to pick a name out of the yellow pages. I confided in a woman at church that I was experiencing flashbacks of sexual abuse, and she asked our pastor (confidentially) [...]

Read Full Post »

Faith Allen’s Story – Refusing Therapy

To say that I was an emotional wreck is an understatement. I felt like a pressure cooker whose lid had just blown off, and memories and emotions were bursting all over my life. It didn’t help that I was determined to understand and remember what my mother had done. I would lie in my bed [...]

Read Full Post »

Faith Allen’s Story – Learning about Dissociation

After I returned home, Irate stayed out. I later learned that this state of consciousness is called “co-consciousness.” Both Irate and Faye were kind of “sharing” the decision-making. Of course, as Irate’s name suggests, this was an angry alter part, and I stayed angry for weeks. Hub was very confused. He knows how annoying my [...]

Read Full Post »

Faith Allen’s Story – Uncorking the Memory Bottle

In 2003, when my son was two years old, my mother had surgery and needed someone to take care of her at home for about a week. My sister and I decided to split the time. I really did not want to do it, but I believed it was my duty. So, I drove my [...]

Read Full Post »

Faith Allen’s Story – Searching for Answers

*******trigger warning – sexual abuse******* Throughout my young adulthood (twenties to mid-thirties), I knew that I was powerfully f@#$ed in the head: I just didn’t know why. I had obsessive compulsive disorder, an eating disorder (binge eating), suffered from nightmare and night terrors, had phobias, struggled with intense anxiety and depression, and had regular panic [...]

Read Full Post »