Intermixing of “Pleasure” and Pain in Child Abuse

I just finished reading Diana Gabaldon’s excellent book, Outlander. One part of the book I did not see coming was a graphic man-on-man rape scene near the end. The victim agreed not to fight off a man’s homosexual advances in return for the man letting the victim’s wife go free. The victim shared his story [...]

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“All or Nothing” Mentality after Child Abuse

One common aftereffect of child abuse is having an “all or nothing” mentality. I do not know why child abuse causes this aftereffect, but there is no question that I struggle with this myself and see this thinking in my offline friends who were abused as children. Here is a recent example of mine … [...]

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Silent Screams in Dreams

I had another one of those dreams where I wake myself up screaming. I used not to be able to do this. I would scream and scream, but no sound would come out. I have screamed so frequently in my dreams over the years that I have developed lucid dreaming whenever I scream. The fact [...]

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When Family and Friends Don’t Want to Understand DID

On my blog entry entitled My Story: Integrating from Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), a reader posted the following comment: My children do not want to know anything about this disorder I have [DID]. They don’t want to know. Is that good or bad? ~ Audrey I don’t know if we can label your children’s reaction [...]

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Shame of Believing You “Chose” Sexual Abuse

This week, I have been talking about ways that child abusers sometimes “groom” their victims and make the child feel responsible for the sexual abuse. Children who have been groomed for sexual abuse and feel responsible often struggle with an enormous amount of shame. Because they feel responsible for the abuse, they have ambivalent feelings [...]

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Child Feeling Responsible for “Choosing” Sexual Abuse

In my last blog entry, I shared an example of one child abuser’s story for how he groomed his victims (prepubescent boys) for sexual abuse. Today, I would like to focus on other ways that abusers can make their victims feel responsible for “choosing” the abuse. Children are not naturally shy about their body parts. [...]

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How Abusers Groom Their Victims

On my blog entry entitled Removing the Secrecy to Remove the Shame, a reader posted the following comment: Would you be able to do a post on grooming for sexual abuse and how a child can be made to think that they have ‘chosen’ to engage in sexual activities with the abuser and the shame [...]

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Blooming Lotus Won a Second Award

This has been a good week for Blooming Lotus. Last week, I shared that Blooming Lotus won an Inspiration Award. Today, I am happy to share that Blooming Lotus has won a second award, as one of the Top 25 PTSD blogs of 2010. I do not write my blog for the purpose of winning awards, but [...]

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Reprogramming Your Thoughts/Mind: Using Your Faith/Spirituality

This week, I have been focusing upon reprogramming your thoughts/mind to help you break free from the “programming” you experienced as an abused child. I have been adapting Beth Moore’s method from her study entitled Breaking Free so that those of you who are triggered by religion could also benefit. Unfortunately, those of you with [...]

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Reprogramming Your Thoughts/Mind: Replacing Lies with the Truth

This week, I am focusing upon reprogramming your thoughts/mind to help you break free from the “programming” you experienced as an abused child. I am adapting Beth Moore’s method from her study entitled Breaking Free so that those of you who are triggered by religion can also benefit. This week, I have shared that the [...]

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