My partner at Adoption Under One Roof wrote a blog entry about an adoptive mother who has been charged with misdemeanor child abuse of her seven-year-old child. I was triggered by watching the video of this mother making her child swirl hot sauce in his mouth for lying and then take a cold shower. This video was on the Dr. Phil show in November, but I did not hear about it until editing my partner’s blog this morning.
You can read the story here. Her blog entry did not trigger me, but I found the video to be triggering, so please proceed with caution. I am working on bringing myself down now. The authorities know what happened to this child. I am hopeful that he is getting help and will not be harmed again.
I would physically attack anyone who ever dared to do something like that to my child!!
OH MY GOD! I had seen this as a headline on various internet news sites but I only saw the word hot saucing and I didn’t know what they were talking about, I thought it was some new teenage silliness. I didn’t know it was about “discipline”. Thank you for the warning Faith. I read the article and I did click on the video because I kept thinking that it must be a mistake, maybe it looked like something that it wasn’t. I couldn’t even get past her yelling at him and him sounding so frightened with his little voice and accent. I had to mute the video because I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to kill her, I’m serious. I watched the rest of the video on mute and even muted, it was still horrifying. I was speechless and I wanted to pick up that little boy and hug him and take him away and promise him that no one would ever hurt him again.
I saw that someone else who watched it had the same initial thought as me which was to compare it to a parent putting soap in your mouth for cussing. The person remembered that happening to them a a kid and they said they never felt degraded or abused by it and they never said that cuss word again. The question is, is that the same as this and both the reader and I seem to agree that it is NOT remotely the same. What happened here is unquestionably abuse, the shouting, the hot sauce and the cold shower! C’mon! She needs to be locked up and I wish someone would do that to her so she could feel it.
I am curious to see how Dr. Phil handled this since I’ve never seen it. Is it available to see online somewhere?
I’m truly horrified and I feel helpless because I can’t do anything to help this child or their sibling. I can’t believe this…I mean of course I can believe it, we were all abused here but this…it shook me.
Hi, Tai.
I am sorry that the video triggered you, but I am also relieved that your reaction was similar to my own. I, too, was quite triggered by the yelling. So sad.
What’s interesting is that I can read the stories of adult survivors all day without getting triggered, but seeing that little boy triggered me deeply. :0(
- Faith
She has been charged with child abuse in Alaska.
I don’t think without the video she would have been charged. I feel that is what made it real.
I to hope the child is helped and not made into a media sensation for the entertainment of adults.
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Jesus Christ, how twisted is she to come up with such torture? The child is an orphan, isn’t that enough torture to live with?
They should put her in a Russian prison. I bet they have much better ways to “play” with Tabasco. Give her a taste of her own hot sauce.
She doesn’t deserve death penalty, she deserves a lifetime of daily hot sauce swishing and cold showers.
Even that wouldn’t be enough…
I believe I saw this terrible mother on Dr. Phil a while back, as he was addressing her “discipline” tactics and everyone in the audience was of course horrified. It brought tears to my eyes, and that’s not just because I am a childhood abuse survivor. It brought tears to the eyes of many audience members. I am so glad to hear that this woman has been arrested for child abuse. I believe she also forced “cold showers” on her son as a punishment, and his cries of pain meant nothing to her. Her “punishments” are a perfect definition of childhood trauma.
It is as you say, children are powerless. When we are hot-sauced, cold-showered, or sexually abused, we have an internal battle of a war these adults just causally started.
Do they ever lose a night of sleep, I wonder. Again, I am glad this woman was arrested and not helped to “rehabilitate” other methods of discipline. She has done enough.
We know this abuse happens, and we have lived through abuse. Yet seeing the demeanor of the child just knowing he is being treated unfairly to say the least, him knowing yet how powerless he is- video just makes it all more speechless.
My dad used to do something similar to me. He used English mustard. He made me hold it in my mouth too while sitting at the dining table. My parents would laugh as the tears rolled down my face and would waved a glass of water in front of me. I never thought of it as abuse just them having fun with me.
Watching the video, I just want to rescue that poor little boy.
I’m sorry KK, that was a really cruel thing to do you.
This so called mother doesn’t deserve to live. I hope she burns in hell. But before that she should suffer the consequences of her actions.
I’m a mother myself. Of a beautiful son. The thought bothers me that if ever something happens to me a person like this might “want” to take care of my child.
If she cares so much about consequences about made mistakes. She’s obviously a mistake, she should be disciplined.
Everyone should spread this video! Tweet it! Like it! Stumble it! Digg it! Whatever! This video should get the proper attention so that her cellmates can give this “mother” what she deserves!
no way! this is horrible!
not watching the whole video, scary.
how can she just keep yelling and hurting that scared little child?
[...] from the ‘hot saucing’ abuse story Yesterday, both Faith Allen and Tai wrote about a news story of an Alaskan mother ‘hot saucing’ her son, as well as [...]
I did watch the video clip, I can completely understand and relate to the fear and terror that this little boy felt. After I watched it, I realized it wasn’t a good idea–but it was too late then.
I also wanted to point out that this woman was only charged with “misdemeanor child abuse!” Is it any wonder that kids that are abused don’t say anything?!? What’s the point?
Hi, Theresa.
I, too, was triggered by it. On the one hand, I am glad I watched it, but I had to bring myself down from it. That was one reason I wrote this blog entry — it was part of bringing myself down.
I am sorry that it is triggering to others, but it is also validating to me that you had the same reaction. Apparently there are a lot of people online supporting her tactics. When you hear “saucing,” it doesn’t sound as bad as watching it.
- Faith
I could not believe my eyes….. I can not imagine forcing my boys do do anything like that no matter what they had ever done. My abuse never had this element to it, yet I was beyond upset. I hope that she looses her children, all of them, and that while living in a Russian Orphanage is not what I would call ideal, I find that it is probably less traumatizing than living with her and her husband who investigates child abuse, did he learn at home how to identify it?
And hopefully one day their sister realizes that she will have played a vital piece in helping stop their abuse by taking that video, she one day will be their savior.
Faith I am sorry you were so triggered, but know that we all saw as you did. Many hugs!
Holy cow! I had heard about this but hadn’t seen it yet. My goodness!!! I wish I would’ve seen the whole thing, so I could’ve heard Dr. Phil lay into her! Someone (either your post or your partners) said the cold shower was less than the hot sauce. Personally, the shower was even worse than the hot sauce for me. I couldn’t even watch and the boys cries were awful! What goes through people’s minds? And I agree, as an educator (mom) and police officer (dad), they should know better!
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