Letter to Myself for the Darkest Days

Dear Faith, I am sorry that you are feeling so crappy right now. It isn’t fair. You did nothing to deserve feeling this way. You did nothing to cause it, and there is nothing that you are doing or not doing that would make it all better. This is emotional chemo. This is something that [...]

Read Full Post »

Going on Hiatus

Hi, all. I am dealing with a potentially serious health issue involving my kid, so I will be on hiatus until the health issue is resolved. It is possible he will need surgery this week. ~ Faith

Read Full Post »

Therapist Thinks My Issue was Sheer Emotional Exhaustion

I had an interesting session with my therapist last week. We talked about all of the things that I blogged about and then some. Once we worked through a bunch of that, he asked specifically what was going on in my day-to-day life that precipitated my “breakdown.” He believes that my biggest problem was not [...]

Read Full Post »

Deeper Integration – Feeling Disoriented

Last night, I integrated a big part of myself. This was the wounded little girl who had such a fit this week, but she is so much more than that. This is HUGE. This is Annie, the part that “went to sleep” when I was in the height of the abuse. This was the original [...]

Read Full Post »

Am I Having a Breakthrough or a Breakdown?

I am not quite sure if what I am going through is a break**through** or a break**down**. All I know is that it is very intense. Thank you to those of you who posted responses to Annie. Annie needed to be heard – badly. I apologize for posting out of order. I actually wrote yesterday’s [...]

Read Full Post »

When is it My Turn?

I am writing this blog entry on the day before the summer solstice. I have not been this triggered in a really long time. I have been struggling for a week – pretty much since the full moon last week – and it feels like there will never be an end to this. I hope [...]

Read Full Post »

Giving Voice to My Inner Child’s Pain

This blog entry is completely based on the point of view of my wounded (devastated) inner child, Annie. I cannot stop crying and haven’t for two days, and it is all because of Annie’s pain. The adult me knows that my actions and reactions are not “appropriate” ones for an adult, but Annie doesn’t give [...]

Read Full Post »

More Flashbacks on the Horizon

I have more ritual abuse memories coming, and I am not looking forward to them. However, I know that they are a necessary part of my healing, so I will deal with them as they surface. One might be the memory that explains my obsession with my teeth. Both my sister and I have this [...]

Read Full Post »

Tired of Dealing with Everyone Else’s Drama

Before I start this blog entry, please note that the focus is on my offline relationships, not here. On my blog, I am able to connect and be caring without “taking on” anyone else’s pain. If only I could be that way in my offline life… Last week, I felt like I was being bombarded [...]

Read Full Post »

Father’s Day and Dealing with Confrontational Parent

A reader asked me to discuss the topic of dealing with parents where one is confrontational and the other is passive. This reader was specifically interested in this topic with Father’s Day coming up. Because Mother’s Day is my big “go crazy” day, I often forget that Father’s Day is extremely painful for many of [...]

Read Full Post »