Happy Fourth Anniversary!

Everyone, I just realized that I missed celebrating Blooming Lotus’s 4th anniversary! Blooming Lotus launched on October 2, 2007 with this blog entry. I cannot believe I have been blogging on healing from child abuse for over four years. It’s been a wonderful experience meeting numerous fellow child abuse survivors all over the world. Thanks [...]

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False Memory Syndrome

A reader emailed me with concerns about false memory syndrome. This reader is in the same place that I was once and that many of you have been. When your repressed memories start pouring out through flashbacks, they seem unbelievable. You ask yourself if these horrible things could possibly be true because they seem so [...]

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Societal Taboo on Female Abuse

On my blog entry entitled Marital Issues after Healing from Child Abuse, a reader posted the following comment: On this taboo on female abuse, I recurringly dont know whether to cry or to rage because I find it just so violating. This whole “male violence” BS is a BIG FAT LIE!! the reality is that [...]

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Conflicted Feelings Toward Grandparents for Not Stopping Abuse

In yesterday’s blog entry entitled Processing Feelings toward Those Who were Unwitting Abusers, I talked about my feelings toward abusers who did not know that I was not consenting to the sexual contact. Today, I would like to focus on my conflicted feelings toward more subtle abuse enabling – toward the adults in my life [...]

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Processing Feelings toward Those Who were Unwitting Abusers

On my blog entry entitled Strong Trigger Reaction to Visiting a College Campus, a reader wrote the following question: You saying about the group of boys who thought you were consenting made me think: how do you feel about people/incidents where you were abused unintentionally? For example I used to frequently be ‘starved’ by people [...]

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Missing my Dysfunctional Friend, but Not the Friendship

As I shared here and here, I mutually ended a nine-year dysfunctional friendship in August and have been grieving it to varying degrees ever since. This was the first friendship where I really allowed myself to be vulnerable. She saw the “real me” before anyone else did. She was my rock during my therapy years, [...]

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Strong Trigger Reaction to Visiting a College Campus

My father-in-law took my son and me for a visit to his college alma mater at a military school. We watched the military parade, ate lunch in the mess hall, and then watched a football game. I had a great time other than experiencing a strong trigger reaction during the military parade. The trigger tied [...]

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How Do You Stop a Compulsion?

On my blog entry entitled Masturbation as a Form of Self-Injury after Sexual Child Abuse, a reader posted the following comment: … however much I accept they [self-injury compulsions] are a byproduct it doesn’t make them easier to cope with them and eventually the MUST be eliminated…….for my survival………and I only know one way to [...]

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Marriage: Asserting your Needs versus Trying to Change your Spouse

On Tuesday, I wrote about the four different options couples have when a spouse’s needs are not being met: Four Options for Unmet Needs in Marriage. Yesterday, I built on that topic by talking about needs and compromise in marriage. Today, I will finally get to the difference between asserting your needs and trying to [...]

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Identifying Needs in Marriage and Making Compromises

Yesterday, I wrote about the four different options couples have when a spouse’s needs are not being met: Four Options for Unmet Needs in Marriage. Today I am going to focus on needs and compromise in marriage. Finally, in tomorrow’s blog entry, I’ll get to the difference between asserting your needs and trying to change [...]

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