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Archive for November 22nd, 2007

Greyhound

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!

At this time of year, I like to reflect upon the reasons I have in my life to be thankful. Of course, I am thankful for my son and my sister, who is my best friend. I am thankful for my husband and my other friends. I am thankful for my dog, who just joined our family a couple of months ago but has become an integral part of our household. (That’s his picture!) Most importantly, I am thankful for the person that I have become.

Over four years ago, I made the choice to heal from my past no matter what it took. I started having flashbacks just a few weeks before Thanksgiving 2003. I was feeling completely miserable as the emotions I had repressed for decades exploded all over my life. I was so distraught that I developed acid reflux, which damaged my vocal chords enough to give me laryngitis for over a week. I found it appropriate that the abuse memories caused me to lose my voice because having no voice sums up my childhood.

I had no idea when I began my healing journey that I would remember so many traumatic events. While it was painful to re-live each one, I now sit in awe at my ability to survive them all as a young child. I started to say as a helpless child, but I wasn’t helpless. My very strong will to survive and overcome the abuse prevented me from being helpless.

Four years ago, I hated myself. Today, I love myself. No, my life is not perfect, but I still love my life. I love that I have taken all of the garbage that my abusers threw my way and turned my experiences around so that I can now encourage others to heal as I have healed. I love that I no longer live in fear. Even the fear of death has lost its power over me. No matter what, I know that I will always be okay.

I hope that each of you has a very happy Thanksgiving.

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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