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Archive for December 17th, 2007

Lonely Girl (c) Lynda Bernhardt

I received a very nice card from my mother last week. Ironically, it arrived during the week that I was writing about mother-daughter sexual abuse. I have not heard from her in a couple of months. Now, out of the blue, she sends me this very thoughtful card. She also said that she is sending my Christmas present up with my sister when she comes to visit next week. I was not expecting anything from her for Christmas.

I have a couple of friends who are farther along their healing journeys than I am. Both of them have reached a place where they feel love for their parent-abusers. They have let go of the bitterness, and they have moved past the indifference. Now, they feel pity for their parent-abusers and want to help them to heal from their pain.

I wonder if I will ever get there and if there is even a need for me to get to that place. In so many ways, my life is easier when I view my mother as “dead” to me. I go on about my life, and she goes on about hers. I do not feel guilty about this.

I know that my mother will never meet my emotional needs. For me to reconnect with her would be solely for her benefit. I do not see any way in which it would be beneficial to me.

My mother told my sister that she plans to call me in the next week to wish me well. I am not sure how I feel about that. I told her four years ago not to call or visit me, and I never changed that rule. Now I have the stress of checking the Caller ID every time the phone rings. I don’t know of a way to tell her not to do this without calling her, which misses the point.

I really don’t know how I feel about all of this.

Related Topic:

Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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