Archive for January 3rd, 2008

Busted Bumper

I was in a car accident yesterday, and it really scared me. Someone who is not familiar with the downtown area turned the wrong way down a one-way street. I was in the far left lane, which is the same lane that he was in. All I know is that I saw a vehicle coming in my lane straight at me, and I could hear my husband’s voice telling me that any type of collision, even into a telephone pole, is better than a head-on collision.

I blew my horn several times, but I did not see him slowing down or pulling over, so I tried to change into the lane beside me. Unfortunately, there was another car in that lane. He saw what was going on and did his best to avoid hitting me, but he wound up rear-ending me.

Nobody was hurt. My kid was not in the car, thank goodness, and things could have been so much worse. My bumper and the other car’s bumper look rough, but otherwise everything was okay. I am still shaken up by the accident – not the part where I was actually hit but the thought of seeing somebody coming at me the wrong way in my lane. I would not be surprised to relive that experience in my dreams tonight.

What’s funny about this is that I had a “death wish” for a very long time. I did not necessarily want to die, but I preferred the thought of ceasing to live to the thought of working through the very painful emotions from my history of child abuse. I have been saying for years that I am ready to die whenever. I am not suicidal, and I am not eager to die today or anything, but I do not fear death and see it as a natural part of life. However, those were not the thoughts going through my head as I saw a vehicle heading toward me today.

So, I guess I am not ready for my existence on earth to end quite yet. I must still have unfinished business left.

Photo credit: Faith Allen

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