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Archive for March 5th, 2008

Tree (c) Lynda BernhardtOn my post, Child Abuse: Severe Emotional Abuses I Suffered, a reader posted a question about whether my abusers are still “alive and well” but not incarcerated. As far as I know, none of them ever did any jail time for what they did to my sister and me. However, I have made peace with this, and I want to share how.

Those of you who were moved by my discussion of reincarnation will probably find this very useful. Those who think I am off my rocker for believing in reincarnation will likely find this post and my next one to be a little nutty.

A fundamental part of being a human being is needing justice. People who do good things are supposed to be rewarded, and those who do bad things are supposed to suffer. Unfortunately, the world is filled with examples of where this is not the case.

If I based my need for justice on this lifetime, then I would likely never move past my hatred toward my abusers. I define “forgiveness” as letting go of the bitterness. Without justice, I do not believe that I could accomplish this. However, my beliefs in karma and reincarnation have enabled me to accept that my abusers will pay for what they did to me, which has enabled me to let go of my bitterness.

I believe that, after we die, our spirits rest. Then, our spirits must experience how our actions in our last lifetime affected others. So, I believe that when each abuser dies, he will have to feel the same pain that I felt and know that he caused that pain. While in spiritual state, I believe that each abuser will feel an enormous amount of remorse for the pain he inflicted. In my next post, I will share how I came to this belief.

I do believe that there is karma in this life as well. My mother/abuser feels pain because I am no longer in her life other than sending the occasional letter. I have told her not to call or visit me. I do not do this to hurt her: I do it to protect myself. However, this choice has the effect of hurting her, and I believe this is part of her karma and learning her life lessons. You cannot treat another person any way you want and then expect to have that person continue to give you love and energy. My mother lost a lot when she lost me.

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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