Archive for March 13th, 2008

BedroomIn my last post, Setting Boundaries in the Bedroom after Child Abuse, I shared that I chose to move into my own bedroom even though I am married. Because of being awakened multiple times to be abused as a child, I had a very hard time sleeping through the night with another person in the room. Carving out my own space where I can be alone at night did wonders toward helping me to heal.

I have found so many benefits to having my own room that I did not think about when I first made the decision to move into my own room. A big one is the ability to sleep in a clutter-free room. As I shared in my post, State of My House = State of My Mind, I feel so much better when I spend my time in a clutter-free environment. Unfortunately, this was not possible as long as I shared a room with hub.

The above picture is a photograph of hub’s room this morning. I made no changes whatsoever. He had already left for work, and this is how he left his room. Notice the huge pile of papers all over the floor beside the bed as well as the piles of stuff toppling over on the bookcase. I cannot live that way, yet he freaks out whenever I “touch” his stuff because he says he knows where everything is.

Meanwhile, take a look at the photo on this blog. That is my bedroom with no changes made. I have no clutter in my room. Everything is always in its place. I need my room to stay clutter-free so I can sleep better and so I have a place of refuge when the rest of my house spins out of control.

Also, my room smells great. I burn a vanilla-scented candle each night before bedtime while I do yoga and meditation in my room. The scent of vanilla calms the startle reflex, so having that scent in my room enables me to sleep much better. I also run either a humidifier or an air purifier at all times (that’s the cord on the right) to provide white noise that masks sounds that would otherwise cause me to jolt awake.

I love having my own room. I love feeling safe and secure in a clean room that is exactly the way I want it.

Photo credit: Faith Allen

Read Full Post »