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Archive for April 29th, 2008

Sarah WiesCheck out this video of Sarah skydiving to raise money for rape awareness. She went skydiving as part of Operation Freefall to raise funds for the charity Speaking Out About Rape (SOAR).

It looks like she raised $250 by skydiving. She has much to be proud of.

I am so impressed!!

Photo credit: First Giving

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Purple flowers (c) Lynda BernhardtWhen I was in therapy, my therapist recommended that I read the book Compassion and Self Hate: An Alternative to Despair by Theodore I. Rubin. I highly recommend this book for anyone who has suffered from abuse.

The crux of the book is that each of us has a battle going on inside of ourselves between self-compassion and self-hate. No matter how powerful our self-hate is, our self-compassion will always win because being loving and compassionate toward yourself is your true nature. It is basically the same message as learning how to feed the right wolf. I have come to realize that this was my issue last week when I was struggling with all of the social graces and not feeling “normal.”

It is humbling to realize how easily I can slip back into old patterns, even after years of healing work. Hating myself was my normal state for most of my life. So, when I was triggered, it felt very comfortable to slip back into that pattern. Nothing in my life had changed – it was an internal shift. I chose to feed the “wrong” wolf, even though this happened at a subconscious level. I am happy to say that, now that I recognize what I was doing, I am sending big fat, juicy steaks to my “good wolf” and putting the “evil wolf” on a diet.

Every minute of every day, we make choices about how we feel about ourselves. We can choose to tell ourselves that we are stupid, abnormal, unlovable, or a wide variety of other self-hating messages, or we can choose to love ourselves exactly as we are. I am, once again, choosing to love myself. It does not matter if other people find things about me that do not meet their “standards.” I meet my own standards, and that is all that matters.

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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