A reader recently told me that she questioned her diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder (DID) because she does not “hear voices.” Many people have the misconception that people with dissociative identity disorder (formerly known as multiple personality disorder) “hear voices.” They do not. People with mental illnesses, such as schizophrenia, sometimes “hear voices,” but that is not the case with DID.
The problem with DID is trying to explain what alter parts “sound like” in your head. There are no auditory sounds involved. The best way I can describe it is that I had thoughts that were “not mine.” I describe them as “loud thoughts” or “strong thoughts” that did not originate with “me.”
Perhaps an example would make this clearer…
My healing process began after I and my then-two-year-old son spent the night at my mother/abuser’s house. At this point in my life, I had no awareness of having ever been abused, having DID, or having alter parts. My mother insisted that I go on an errand at midnight. While I was gone, she went into my son’s room. She told me this when I returned.
I completely flipped out. I ran into my son’s room and brought him into the guest room with me. I cried and held him close. I asked him what “that crazy lady” did to him. My heart was racing, and my mind was flooded with fear that my mother had sexually abused my son. The weird part was that none of this was coming from “me.”
I felt like I (my spirit??) had been shoved to one corner of my head. I could see and hear everything that was going on around me, but it was from a distance, and I was not driving my body. I heard my voice talking, but I was not telling my body to say those words. I could feel the intense fear and was baffled as to why I was fearful that my mother might have sexually abused my son. Yes, I knew that she was mentally ill, but I had no memory at that point of her sexually abusing either my sister or me.
After that, being co-present with alter parts became a normal part of my life until I integrated. I never “heard” any voices, but I could “feel” their thoughts, and their thoughts felt separate from mine.
I hope this helps others to understand what internal communication with DID is like.
Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
Blooming Lotus 
thanks this really helps… this has been true for me. but i have never heard an external voice just as you described. Really loud thoughts and sometimes i dont know where they come from and they are not rational.. But they are very real…. and scary and not too. I know now this is me all me, even though i dont understand it and cant fix it. it is hard and crushes me. somedays. somedays i feel real wierd. i guess, i guess i dont have words for how i feel.
Very interesting. I’d never really stopped to think of how their voices are similar to or different from mine. Mine do sound a bit different, but I can certainly see similarities as well. As zoe commented, it’s all me. It’s just different versions of me. 🙂 Thanks for the well-written and informative post.
Glad that my article helped. :0)
Yes, they are all versions of ourselves. They are all parts one one spirit.
– Faith
I also never knew id been abused or that i had d.i.d.! Not until 26 months ago when i had a massive breakdown. I had voices ( they are going) , they come from outside and usually something like ” you ******** freak” etc etc. Yet before i ‘brokedown’ i didnt have the ability to question my behaviour. I knew something wasnt right, but couldnt ask why!
These are great posts you do.
I always compared it to telepathy. I hear a voice (or voices) inside my head, coming from within my brain, but it’s clearly not my own thoughts. They respond to things I do, or think, or say; they comment on my actions, either approvingly or disapprovingly; they make suggestions, or encourage me, or argue and complain.
Thank you so very much for writing as I have exactly the same symptoms as you do. I do feel very alone with this and planning to address this with my therapist this week. Sometimes there there and for longer periods not there at all I’s a bit crazy making now that I am trying for first time to decipher the voices and what they want me to know. Who they are if that is even the case. The one that is apparent to me is the one who asks, The Whys to me, yet knows the answer before I do. Yet want me to know. It sort of a feed of info that is important for this. It really makes me think yet can get too much involved in your head and sometimes I don’t even know it is happening as I talk back then I know. There are others to Relentless mean ones that curse and are angry. They want to take away any self-confidence and make viscous comments about other people that I would never say and to self; and self. There is a warm comforter that
tells me everything is gong to be okay. I wish this voice was more present and pops in every so often at least lately. it is kind and consoling. Oh…then the funny one it is a crack up! I laugh in response especially at home. A riot actually bordering on stand up. There is a mother too, and probably more that i can’t think of right now. I just fell into this as a concern for myself. The business in my head especially the commentary one full of suggestions causes great confusion when trying to get things done and functionl I have been diagnosed with everthing. A long time ago I was Dx as DID nos. I didn’t take stock in diagnosis due to being diagnosed with pratically everthing. then but i think i might have to if any type of healing can start. I have addressed this with my therapist before but did not go into and depth. More meds is what I thought I needed again. I do not think my voices go beyond just hearing voices. Or disinct characters with ages etc. that present them selves. I read somewhere that the person doesn’t know they have it??? That;s a real mind blower to me. I think I would know by now. I have been hospitalized shameslessy over 20+ times that i know. With the additon of 5 series of shock treatments for my depression My life must change….must change. I have awesome therapist that I do trust I guess that is the very begining. My guestion to anyone. Can you just have voices with nothing else behind it?? Maybe that is where the NOW comes in as really tuning in to find out what is really going on.
oh when i am responding to the voices outloud I have no idea who I am talking to and who may be there.
Special thank you for listening. I hope i didn’t overwhelm you with all this info. This was not my intention. I am just lost a bit.
Thank you so much for your post it was very eye-opening and brought my voices concerns further into the light.
Special Blessings,
Katie
Hi, Katie.
Welcome to my blog!
I strongly suggest that you read the book, Safe Passage to Healing:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0595201008?ie=UTF8&tag=bloolotu-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0595201008
The book is the best resource I have found to explain all of these “loud thoughts” that you are experiencing. Each part is a part of YOU. You are ready to begin healing and integrating your experience. It is a wild ride and sometimes extremely painful, but it is the path to wholeness.
As for whether you could have DID and not know it — Yes, that is experience of most (if not all) of us. The whole point of DID is to compartmentalize so you can survive overwhelming and unbearable abuse. It isn’t safe for the parts to know about each other. Now that you are safe from the abuse, you are ready to begin healing.
Check out this article. I think it will help you understand yourself a lot better:
http://www.sidran.org/sub.cfm?contentID=73§ionid=4
Take care,
– Faith
Very interesting. After several years of thoughts and words (not mine) being imprinted into my consciousness, this is shedding some light, although right now it may be simply a new label for me. I have much to learn. I’ve had to go the route of being diagnosed with schizophrenia and doing awful med trials. Anyone know how this kind of issue (DID) may relate to true premonitions in this manner? This kind of thing happened to me quite frequently, therefore, I have a hard time truly perceiving the barrier between psychic experience and mental illness.
I am not a psychiatrist, so definitely talk with an expert about the differences. From what I understand, people with schizophrenia “hear” audible voices outside of themselves. With DID, there are no voices. Instead, it feels like there are thoughts in your head that are not originating from you.
Also, from what I understand, a brain scan can detect schizophrenia because it is a physical disorder of the brain. With DID, the development is in reaction to extreme and ongoing trauma that began at a young age (typically under age 6).
Take care,
– Faith
Thank you for the information. I haven’t known if what others were calling hearing voices was happening to me, or if I was just fooling myself into thinking that about some of my own internal dialogue.
I’m not a psychiatrist or psychologist either, but I recently read that people with schizophrenia usually hear rudimentary voices that have limited vocabulary and grammar and don’t project a sense of personality behind the voice. People who are hearing voices because of dissociative disorders hear voices that have age, emotion, personality, even sometimes location attached. The vocabulary and grammar are for the most part complete and the voice has a reason they’re talking to you (a topic) instead of random snatches of words.
I hope that might help.
…also i was dx with DDNOS a very long time ago at a famous hospital affiliated with Cornell Medical Center. I still didn’t buy it. I think i said one thing that made think that I was…how knows! It is hard to take stock in any dx where they have dx with almost everything under the psychiatric sun…….a sun??
Hi, Katie.
I am not a therapist, so I cannot diagnose you. What I can tell you is that (1) I had DID; and (2) your experience sounds very similar to mine. It is common for DID to go misdiagnosed because we are the masters at hiding ourselves from everyone else.
Take care,
– Faith
Faith, Thank you for your wonderful site! It has been a blessing especially when I am feeling so alone in my symptoms and not knowing what lies ahead yet wanting to get there so I can heal. I really admire your work here. I am glad that I have found your site. I checked out the links and found them very informative. I know I have these inner voices yet I don’t know if they are attached to actual parts per say-with names and history. I was wondering, (without being intrusive) if your personal work began with just the voices and then finding out more later?? I do believe that my voices have been with me for a very long time on and off but I choose not to recognize them on some level. I am ready now I can’t keep ignoring the destruction of my illness, the last episode that I has was really scary not being clear on what happened and then landing up in the hospital again. I want change, growth and personal understanding very badly. I believe strongly and have immense faith in my Therapist. I want to share my writings here that I wrote to you am really scared so we’ll see.
I hope I can help someone here as well here who may be reading. It is hard just reading about the DD’s. I get very overwhelmed at times there is mega info out there. I will keep truckin’.
Special Thanks to You and Blessings,
Katie
Hi, Katie.
Those are good questions. I will address them on my blog on Monday. :0)
Take care,
– Faith
[…] Have It?, learning that you have DID, living with DID, suspecting DID On my blog entry entitled Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and “Hearing Voices”, a reader posted the following comment: I know I have these inner voices yet I don’t know if they […]
Dear Faith,
Accolades of thank you’s for your support and knowledge! You are a very talented writer and loved your article on the subject. It was very clear and easy to understand. I would also like to thank the group for all their wonderful feedback and personal experiences. I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I am that I landed here after miles and miles on the Google trail. Its a God-incident.
As you suggested, I ordered the book yesterday, ” Safe Passage to Healing” from Amazon! I spent an extra $15 dollars to get it here tomorrow. Yikes! I am really excited to receive it!
Thank you kindly for your experience strength and hope.
Fondly,
Katie
Dear Faith I was wondering:
1. How long has this group been in exsistance?
2. About how many members do you have?
Curiously,
Katie
Hi, Katie.
I started writing this blog in October 2007. You can use the calendar feature to navigate back to the beginning if you want.
This is a blog, so I don’t really have “members.” I do have to approve everyone’s first comment, and I have the ability to block comments (which I sometimes have to do to weed out trolls). My blog averages between 350 to 500 pages views a day. Some of those are trolls and many are lurkers. I have never counted how many people have left comments.
Take care,
– Faith
Dear Faith and Fellow Bloggers,
Thank you for the suggestion to read, Safe Passages to Healing by Chrystine Oksana. I have not related to much to the ritual abuse but have been astounded how much I can relate to the chapters regarding dissociation. I wanted to share with you and the “bloggers” a paragraph that was sited by a Multiple named Aimee. I strongly identified, felt comforted and just plain could not believe how much this was me! Getting dressed in the morning for me is an ABSOLUTE nightmare…now the light shines in on my behavior and for the first time I understand why. I very happy that some, a bit, is starting to make sense! Read below for Aimee’s experience.
Then we go to the closet–and argue about what to wear. Somebody wants to wear a miniskirt, somebody wants to wear a long skirt, somebody could care less if I f we ever wear a long skirt again and we’re going to wear Levis. Somebody argues that if we do that we’re not going to keep our job. So we go through getting dressed, and that’s real traumatic. Then we go to brush our teeth, and have to argue about what toothpaste we’re going to use. And this is on a good day when we’re not co-conscious, somebody takes control and does it, and eventually into the day somebody else has to live with something they don’t like. And it’s that way all day long. It’s always just constant turmoil. Lots of times I can feel that there’s a real argument going on and that people who are listening to that are arguing amongst themselves back deeper. And so it can be like a bottomless pit.-Amiee
I hope this helps.
Have a blessed day,
Katie AKA Pearl
I am having some fast breakthrough thanks to this topic on hearing voices or ” not your own” thoughts.” I recently sat down and compiled a list of what I call voices because I believe it gives whatever voice(s) a bit of individuality and recognition vs. just a thought.
I believe I couldn’t have done this on my own without the help of the “voices” on the inside. Also, my new book that Faith suggested, the above article and Blog.
The voice list to my absolute amazement (actually I was blown away!) consisted of 13 voices!! Whew.. now I really feel like a nut case! I am now for the first time am asking question to those on the inside and am actually getting answers. Some okay, some not so okay. From my reading on DD it is important to let them all express themselves and know that they were created to protect you.
Just this moring I asked inside what would be a good name for this chattering bunch. I or they not sure, came up with Comrades. That would be our ultimate goal is to find a sense of togetherness, acceptance and friendship. I don’t know it is possible especially with the angry ones but it could be possible?
If your there reading and if any of this makes sense to you or can relate I would love to hear from you.
Thanks for Listening.
Blessings,
Katie and The Commrades
Katie and The Commrades,
This is a HUGE leap in healing! Congratulations! I will address this comment on Thursday on my blog.
– Faith
…Faith very special thanks for your inspiring mail. I wasn’t sure if you were going to get a responce or not, i was hoping so and glad you did! Thaaaank you!!
I am unsure of this blogging thingy and what it is all about but i am learning.
Looking very foward to hearing from you again.
Blessings to you,
Katie
[…] am Tags: co-consciousness in DID, integration, talking with alter parts On my blog entry entitled Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and “Hearing Voices”, a reader posted the following comment: I am having some fast breakthrough thanks to this topic on […]
Faith, Wow!! Thank you for such a quick reply. Sometimes I wait with bated breath to hear from you! This is the very beginning of “The wild ride!” for me too! So many unexpected, thought, voices, and what I find the most powerful is going inside. This morning I was running around spot cleaning my carpet, doing laudry, scrubbing my kitchen floor, fixing a necklace and the list goes on ad infinitum. Whew!! Now that I am writing to you I realized that I was running, running, running from self, especially the voices.
I finally sat down, read my meditation book. Breathed in God and exhaled fear. I then closed my eyes and went inside. There was beautiful awakening (the little one was not alive, someone else thought she needed a prince to kiss her to waken her. ) all the parts were still holding hands in a circle and Jesus was there in the circle and her was holding her. She had woken from her deep, deep sleep. I thought that was cute! So, I think this was a part of free association but going on the inside (maybe not).
I appreciate your feel back on the free association writing that I will definately have esperienced(an angry) part reared it’s ugly head but i was so okay with it as it came to my amazement! I am looking for new parts and i think the free association is a great way to find more! Did you have parts speak to you when you were tapping into your subconscious through writing?
I have been writing everyday but need to get there as Paul says, about writing how i feel about my entry. Faith, I love what you said about righting every think down ad Isurvive. I went there but didn’t make a lot of sense to me…so sorry.
I think my posts are the longest I have every seen in this group!! It is okay?? I am not sure what the meaning of Blog means but to my surmise i believe it is short entries. Faith and others, does any one surmise i believe it is short entries. Faith and others, does any one object? Please don’t hesitate to say, I won’t be rejected.
Hugs if you want to, and Blessings to you all,
I am terribley sorry.I should have put a ****TRIGGER WARNING***** above my post…talk of God and Jeus. I am just praying that it doesn’t trigger anyone!! //will not happen agian.
luv,
Katie
Hi, Katie.
I will write a longer blog entry to answer your healing questions.
Blog is short for “web log.” This form of communication started out as a diary or “web log” of someone’s life. Blogs were often about the day-to-day activities of people’s kids and such. Then, other people started writing blogs about various issues. I choose to use mine for helping child abuse survivors heal.
Feel free to write comments all your want and as long as you want/need them to be. :0)
– Faith
Hi, Katie.
I had something in mind I was going to blog about related to your comment, but now I don’t remember. :0( Maybe I wanted to answer your question about having other parts “speak to me” when I accessed my subconscious mind?? The answer is yes. Sometimes, they would suddenly get quiet. Other times, a part might get angry. I just kept accepting and loving each part as “me.”
Take care,
– Faith
Faith,
You are a wonder for getting back to me so soon!! I so appreciate your attention, as I was creeped out…. anyway. i am sorry for the long delay, there is a long story there and I won’t bore you. Your site has been a wonderful place and life line to me at times. It feels warm and comforting to be back just to be tip tapping at the ole’ keys. Thank you SO VERY MUCH for sprinkling your very special glittery dust that brings, kindness , warmth and compassion to every one, that is only special to you. you amaze me as you continue to do the Higher power’s work of some kind every day. I know it will be returned to you in more ways than one!
Please let me know if I need to do anything more!
Blessings, thank you’s and healing rainbows,
Katie
Hi, Katie.
I am so glad it all worked out. Thanks for checking in. :0)
– Faith
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I am going to school to become a counselor and this blog is helping me to gain an understanding of what it’s like to have DID and similar symptoms. This will help me to understand the textbook version of DID.
Thanks again, and the best of the best to you!
I don’t think you can write so factually for everyone suffering. I too have DID and I do hear voices. They’re inside, and murmured sometime, and I hare music but it’s not real, and occasionally I’ve had outside voices and hallucinations, but for the most part they are voices, not thoughts.
Everyone suffering is different, some people don’t hear it, some people do, it’s like with Anorexia say, some Anorexics count calories some don’t, some won’t eat chocolate some will. YOu can’t generalise and say “well this is how it is for me so that’s how it is for everyone suffering”
I think you explained how it is for you very well, but the generalisation here is quite irresponsible.
I relate to some of what you said though, the spirit thing, especially except mine is my tummy.
Anyway, hope you’re well, I don’t mean to sound so abrupt.