Archive for August 26th, 2008

I have not written that much about ritual abuse on my blog. This is because ritual abuse is the most difficult form of abuse for me to talk about. It really puts it in perspective when I feel more comfortable talking about mother-daughter sexual abuse than I do about ritual abuse.

Why is it so hard to talk about ritual abuse? One reason is because it sounds so “crazy.” When I tell people that I was taken at midnight to a wooded area and gang raped by people dressed in black robes around a bonfire at the full moon, it sounds “crazy.” It sounds like I watched one too many horror flicks. However, I rarely watch horror movies, and my sister has the same memories that I do.

Another reason it is hard to talk about is because of sheer terror. I endured a lot of abuse during my childhood – none had the sheer terror that came with the ritual abuse.

I compare regular abuse to street crime and ritual abuse to the mafia – I was abused by the “pros.” Ritual abusers are not involved in a “crime of passion” to gratify themselves in the moment. They are experienced child abusers who have spent centuries, if not millennia, perfecting the most effective ways to terrorize children as part of their sick rituals.

Was my ritual abuse “satanic”? I don’t know. The reasons behind why I was being terrorized never really mattered to me. I just wanted the abuse to stop, and I wanted to be strong enough to survive it without becoming like them. I succeeded.

Over my next few posts, I will be talking about ritual abuse. I am not sure what direction my writings will take, and I am not sure how much internal “backlash” I will experience by talking about it. However, I know that I am not alone in experiencing ritual abuse, and I want others to know that I get it. I also want others to know that they can heal from ritual abuse, just as I have.

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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