Archive for September 8th, 2008

Are cults really just covers for kiddie porn and prostitution rings? That is the question that I have been pondering all week, ever since I read the article The Dirtiest Secret Behind Child Abuse. The author is a therapist, ritual abuse survivor, and has healed from dissociative identity disorder (DID). She has heard many ritual abuse stories as well as experienced her own, so she knows what she is talking about.

She talks about how “sophisticated” pedophiles will dress up like Santa and rape a child. That way, if the child ever tells or recovers memories in the future, nobody will believe her. I know several child abuse survivors who experienced this kind of abuse, being raped by someone dressed up as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or even Jesus.

Then, the author asks …

So why wouldn’t organized child porn groups dress up in robes and wear devil masks and provide other surrounding paraphernalia to share their love of child molestation?

That question hit me hard, and it caused me to think about my own memories and experiences. Could the black robes around the bonfire really have just been for my benefit? Could it all have been smoke and mirrors to mask a kiddie porn ring?

And then the pieces of the puzzle started rapidly falling into place. I have numerous memories of being photographed during the abuse. I find it triggering when lights flicker because it mimics a flashbulb, and the sound effects of a camera taking rapid pictures is very triggering to me.

I thought about the time that my sister and I showed up “early” and had to wait around in our nightgowns in a room filled with adults. It was some sort of log cabin or lodge. Everyone (mostly men) was drinking and laughing, fully clothed, while my sister and I wandered about confused with the men looking at us and laughing. That memory never made sense as a prelude to a cult ceremony, but it makes perfect sense if a price was being set.

I also wondered about why my sister was raped when I was not for the first several cult meetings. She had been raped previously by a babysitter, but I still had my hymen. If the goal was just to have some sort of bizarre ceremony, then why protect my hymen? I suspect the answer is that my hymen was very valuable and was auctioned off to some pervert who wanted to be my first rapist.

I ran this theory by my sister, and she agrees with it. In fact, it made a memory of hers fall into place. She remembers being blindfolded, raped, and then hearing, “Your debt has been paid,” said to one of the cult members. She knew that her body had paid off that debt.

I always assumed that all of robed people were cult members, but what if some of them were johns? What if it was never about “satanic worship” and all about kiddie porn and child prostitution?

Related Topic:

Trauma Tuesday: Raped by Santa Claus??

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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