Archive for January 22nd, 2009

Healing from polyfragmented Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is possible. I know it is possible because I have done it. I had several layers of alter parts, which included mostly personality fragments but also some full alter parts/alter egos. I am now mostly integrated. According to my therapist, I will always have some residue and recover new memories from time to time. However, inside of myself, I now function as a “me” instead of as an “us.”

I am not going to lie and say that healing from polyfragmented DID is easy because it is not. It takes hard work and courage to face all of the traumas that caused the fragmentation in the first place.

The way to heal from polyfragmented DID is simple; however, simple is (unfortunately) not the same thing as easy. To heal from polyfragmented DID, you must do the following:

  1. Choose to remember your truths.
  2. Accept each memory as “mine” and as true.
  3. “Own” each accompanying emotion and feeling as “mine.”
  4. Love each part as “me.”

That really is all that there is to it. Of course, saying it and doing it are two entirely different things.

Polyfragmented DID develops because the child rejects his experiences and his reactions to those experiences as “not me.” The self-rejection is hard to overcome. The antidote is self-love. As you choose to love and accept each part, you are choosing to love and accept yourself. Even though each part feels foreign, it is all you.

For me, accepting my truths came easier than owning the emotions. Each new piece to the puzzle of my life explained why I was the way I was. Sometimes it was almost like being a detective into my own life and uncovering clues as I went along.

My struggle was with all of the emotions that came with those memories. I often feared that the despair would pull me under and I would never break through the surface again. I also feared that each new memory would be the one that put me over the edge.

Although it was excruciatingly hard to work through the traumas and process the emotions, I did it a little at a time. It is kind of like the old story that asks, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” I frequently found myself just trying to get through this moment. Each moment added to the next, and before long, months and then years had passed.

The bottom line is that you must commit to healing and never, ever give up. No matter how hard it gets, you must continue to choose to heal.

Suggested Reading:

Safe Passage to Healing

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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