Archive for February 4th, 2009

I have shared before that I have struggled with a life-long battle with binge eating to manage my emotions. I have had success at times with eating like a “normal” person, but I will likely always be susceptible to binge eating, particularly whenever I get triggered.

I have been doing a little bit better lately. One thing that works well for me when I am in a good place is to let my body tell me when I have had enough to eat. I have no concept of what is a “normal” portion of food, and allowing another person to “limit” how much I eat has always backfired. Binge eating is one way that I take control over my emotions. Allowing someone else, whether that “someone else” is Lean Cuisine or whatever, to dictate my portion size triggers even more anxiety inside of me.

A few years ago, my sister told me that the human body sighs when it has had enough to eat. I did not believe her until I paid attention to my own body, and she was right! I need to stay present in my body (always a challenge) and eat slowly, paying attention to my body’s signals. When my body has had enough food, it sighs. I take that sigh as a “warning” sigh and eat about four more bites before my body sighs a second time. This sigh is generally deeper. Then, I stop eating.

When I am in a good place, this is very effective. I generally wind up eating five or six times a day but only small portions. I lose weight rapidly and, most importantly, I do not feel deprived. Choosing to stop eating before the food is gone is incredibly empowering to me because I am the one in control of how much I am eating, not anyone else.

When I can follow this lifestyle, everything is better. I lose weight, I rarely feel hungry, and I feel good about myself. It seems like I could stay in this place forever, and then I get triggered again. AARRGGHH!!

That is where I am now. I have been following my “sigh lifestyle” for the New Year. And then, I got triggered, and I could not stop myself from binge eating again. It is like this powerful force inside of myself that I simply cannot stop. I am not “choosing” to binge eat as much as I am along for the ride because nothing is going to stand in my way when I am in that place.

One positive thing I have learned is that I don’t have to stay there. I awoke the next morning and went right back to the “sigh lifestyle” with no issues. I have learned not to put a lot of energy into hating myself for “falling off the wagon” because I cannot change the past. All I can do is make better choices right now in the present moment and be compassionate and understanding that I will sometimes mess up, and that’s okay.

Related Topics:

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

Read Full Post »