Archive for March 6th, 2009

On the heels of all that I have been writing about my feelings toward my mother/abuser lately, my sister (who also suffered the same abuses) filled me in on what has been going on with her. Like me, she has been struggling over the past few weeks with restless sleep, etc. She is already taking anti-anxiety medication, but even that has not been helping, even in large doses.

She then told me that our mother is going through a lot of stuff herself. I can’t remember if I shared this already, but my mother is actually going through a (non-accredited) program to become a counselor. ** Deep shudder ** I don’t think she will ever actually be hired to counsel anyone, so I am not too worried about her wasting her money on this program.

Anyhow, apparently part of the program involves going to counseling yourself. In the course of the counseling, my mother has told my sister that she is beginning to remember things about her mother harming her. I am assuming that she is talking about mother-daughter sexual abuse. At least, that is what my sister implied.

Now, I don’t know if my mother is truly having flashbacks or not, nor do I know if they are about her mother harming her or about her harming my sister and me. Nothing would surprise me about my family, that’s for sure.

I can say that I do see some karma involved in my mother facing the horror of suffering from the same type of abuse that she inflicted upon me. My sister just feels sorry for her. For me, it feels more like justice (or karma). If my mother were truly to “get” the damage that she inflicted upon me, that would be a step toward her taking responsibility for what she did to me. I have no illusions of that actually happening.

My sister believes that the three of us going through a bunch of emotional stuff at the same time is not coincidence. She is speculating that perhaps my mother is having this breakthrough and that, because we are all energetically connected, her energy is spilling out onto us. Now, if this were true, shouldn’t my mother have had to wade through a bunch of stuff when I started dealing with my flashbacks?

A friend of mine believes that there is something about this time of year that is triggering to all three of us. I think this is a more likely scenario, but I was curious about what all of you thought. Do you think that the three of us could be energetically connected and feeling the fallout of my mother facing some of her demons?

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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