Archive for May 22nd, 2009

On my blog entry entitled Connecting Emotions with Painful Memories after Child Abuse, a reader posted the following comment:

I almost never cry. The thought of “buckets” of tears coming sounds like paradise and scares me to death. I feel deeply, and that seems to be where it stays. Am down the healing road a fair piece, but expression of pain at this level eludes me. My greatest expression is laughter, I seem to freely laugh, which is a gift. But tears would be…healing, I think. Perhaps it’s not time? Do some of us never break through that barrier? ~ Ruby

I see healing from child abuse as an ongoing process that has no end. You can always be a healthier you. There is never going to be a moment in which I say, “I am all finished growing. Work accomplished.” As long as I am breathing, I am always growing, always changing, and (hopefully) always moving toward a healthier me.

I, personally, believe in reincarnation. I believe that we experience many lives in the physical state and that we are always moving toward a healthier version of ourselves. At some point, we will no longer need to return to a physical state because we will have achieved enough growth, but I don’t think that is going to happen during one lifetime.

So, in answer to the question of whether some people never break through a particular barrier, my answer would be no. However, you might not achieve breaking the through a particular barrier in this lifetime. I am trying very hard to grow all I can in this lifetime so I can be finished with coming back. This has been a particularly difficult lifetime, so I have no desire to do it all again.

Anyone who has heard my story or has been along for the ride has been amazed by my rate of healing. Part of this is due to my general openness to pushing through the barrier and “getting it over with.” In some areas of healing, I am not as good about this. However, I remind myself that, if I don’t master this in this lifetime, I am just going to have to deal with it the next time around. So, I try to open myself up to feeling the pain in the short run so I can feel much, much better in the long run.

On the one hand, I think we need to respect ourselves and be gentle with our healing. On the other hand, sometimes we need to take a great big leap of faith and dive right in. It takes a certain amount of insight to figure out when we should allow ourselves to move along at a leisurely pace and when we need to challenge ourselves to muster up the courage to dive in.

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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