On Wednesday, I kicked off a series on obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). I have struggled with OCD symptoms for most of my life. Each day, I am focusing on another symptom of OCD.
Yesterday, I talked about repetitive thoughts. Today, I will focus upon repetitive actions, which are also known as rituals.
Repetitive actions are anything you feel a compulsion to do repeatedly to avoid feeling anxious. They can be simple or complex. The level to which repetitive actions interfere with your day-to-day living is what determines how severe your OCD symptoms are.
For example, I must check my alarm clock exactly three times before I go to bed. If I only check it once or twice, then I cannot fall asleep. I will obsess about whether the time is correct, even though I rarely change the time on my alarm clock. So, to get it over with, I check it exactly three times in quick succession and then go to bed without any concerns about the setting on the alarm.
Because this process only takes a couple of seconds, my symptom serves more as a quirk than a serious OCD issue. However, other people are not so lucky. There are people who must check the locks on the door exactly 17 times. If anything interferes with the process, they must start all over again. They wind up being late frequently because they must complete the ritual of checking the locks in a particular way. This is a problem that needs to be addressed.
I know a woman who must clean her bathroom every day in a particular order and a particular way. If anything gets out of order or she gets interrupted, she experiences an enormous amount of anxiety and must start over. While some people might find it admirable that she keeps such a clean bathroom, the ritual is taxing on her emotionally and physically.
Unlike my alarm clock checks, which I do every day that I need to use the alarm clock, I have other rituals that come and go. One is blowing on my hands. I used to do this a lot as a child (I have no idea why), and it used to drive my parents crazy (that part amuses me!). If I am feeling triggered, I will sometimes catch myself blowing on my hands. I have no idea why I do it, only that it relieves some of the anxiety.
Even though I know that checking the alarm clock three times is unnecessary, doing it meets a need inside of myself. This is true for anyone with OCD. The ritual serves some purpose – it serves as a valve that releases some of the anxiety for a little while.
Related Topics:
- Aftereffects of Childhood Abuse: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
- Trauma Tuesday: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and the Traumatized Adopted Child
- How to Identify Signs of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
- How to Identify Symptoms of OCD
- How to Minimize the Effects of OCD
- How to Cure OCD
Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
I’m not sure if this counts as a ritual OCD or not, but for me, things have to be done evenly. Like when I put my deodorant on in the morning, I have to pay attention to how many strokes I use, and in which direction, so that I can repeat it exactly on the other arm. If I don’t repeat it exactly, things feel unbalanced, like one side of my body is heavier, and I get extremely anxious. Similarly, when I wash my face, I have to mirror the strokes I make with the washcloth, so that both sides of my face are washed in exactly the same way.
Also, I have to eat colored candy in rainbow order, starting with green, then yellow, orange, and red.
I have a thing about the TV volume. It has to be on even, or in the middle. So 10,12,15,18,20. This would drive my parents crazy and in fact they used to purposely put it on odd numbers to stop me “controlling them” as they saw it. For me it was the only sense of control I had in my house. I still do it now.
I have a thing about cracks in the payments too – not because I believe anything bad will happen – it is just a repetitve act. If I have to walk on cracks I hold my breath or count.
For me it is all about control. Having a sense of control over myself and my enviornment.
I have the exact same thing with volume. It’s the same for the TV and the radio. I also have to use three or five paper towels in the bathroom. I never really thought other people had these issues too.
I’m also very obsessive about food. That’s a huge thing for me. I have to eat all of one thing before I start eating something else. I can’t eat things like casseroles because it’s all mixed together. I drink in between bites.
I have a small thing with my alarm clock. I have to set three different alarms. It seems odd, but I can’t sleep until all three are set because I might not wake up with only two.
I have more but I think I’ve shared enough for now. Thank you for this topic. It helps to know I’m not alone in this.
Interesting post. Like so many of your posts, Faith, they get me to think and reflect. Not that it really changes anything, but I don’t classify my quirks as OCD. But I definitely do have some problems with this. I only realized they are problems when you talked about the woman cleaning her bathroom and you said “the ritual is taxing on her emotionally and physically”. Yes, I get that. And this is something I will have to work on. Thanks, Paul.
beautifulstones,
I have a thing with cracks, too, but it is just the opposite — I try to “step on a crack to break my mother’s back.” It never works, though. LOL
– Faith
I know a lot of sports folks who have rituals they must follow. Curt Schilling from the Red Sox would never walk on the chalk line between home and first base. And then I remembered as a kid having these “quirks” really bother me, like I would not walk on cracks, and get myself all worked up over it. I guess when I was young I was searching for ways to cope with what was going on. Paul.
Counting. I count. Not as badly as I used to, but I still do catch myself doing it when I’m under a lot of stress. It’s really weird because for me I didn’t even realize this was anything more than some insane thing I made up. I didn’t even know WHY I did it…. BUT if I didn’t, something bad would happen. That’s what i told myself or what I believed.
The mind is a strange organ.
As always, thanks for making me think and also for letting me know I’m not alone in my peculiarities! :-)
Have a great weekend,
Mia
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As a long time anxiety disorder affected man, I’ve never known this.. Thank you for sharing.
Henri.
I’ve watched the movie aviator and it’s the disorder which Howard Hughes had. I just can’t imagine how painful his family had gone through.
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When i send a text message, i have to check to make sure i entered the right text 57 times, even if someone tells me its what i want it to say or if the person im textin texts back, replying. I have to end on the same foot i started with while walking up and down rhe stairs. There’s this thing i do with my ankle and big toe, before i can move or even walk, i have to move my big toe around in a circle 7 times. I have to rotate my ankle around exactly 10 times in all, 5 times to the left and 5 times to the right. It drives me crazy and i try to stop but i cant. It takes up so much time.
I think it is a compensation of a stress generated from a feeling of none-safety.
I’ve had OCD now since I was 7. I believe it started when I was abused by a family member as a child. I remember having to run back from school nearly everyday to make sure the door was locked and as soon as I had locked it I would go back and check it three to four times before I would be satisfied. Sometimes, my behavior would cause my family to resent me. They accused me of being on drugs numerous times and I was thrown out of the house when I was 16 after failing all of my qualifications. In my defense, it’s hard to study when you can’t stop yourself from ripping the page out of your text book every time you make the slightest mistake. And, it followed me later on in life where for as long as I care to remember I would throw away clothes, electrical goods, practically anything if it had as much as a scratch on it.
Now, I use computer games to control it. I simply re-start the game again every time I press a wrong button or make what I feel is the wrong choice and after a couple of hours I get bored of getting no where and give up.
Realizing you can’t beat OCD is the first step to controlling it. You just have to try and find repetitive actions that you enjoy, but don’t get me wrong. I do still have some quirks, but I’m no longer selling the computer I’m typing this on for half price, because I just spotted a scratch on the side of it:)
I guess, the worlds not perfect and neither are we and it’s the imperfections that makes this world so beautiful in the first place. Some of us just need to learn how to enjoy failing:)
Peace.