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Archive for August 21st, 2009

Sorry to be posting late today. I have had a busy week with school starting back for my kid and traveling right beforehand.

The Holocaust has been on my mind a lot lately. A friend recommended that I read the book, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, and I read it while I was at the beach last week. It was a very good book but was so sad at the end. As a book about the Holocaust, I obviously saw a bad ending coming. However, the book had a tragic twist to it that I only saw coming at the very end right before it happened. It really drove home the tragedy that befell the innocent.

I then completed my nine-week Beth Moore Bible study on the life of Esther. On the very last day of “homework,” Beth Moore shared how her father had been among the soldiers that liberated one of the concentration camps within days of the end of the war. When he was in the camp, he found the following words etched into the prison’s wall:

I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining.

I believe in love, even when I do not feel it.

I believe in God, even when He is silent. (Author unknown)

Nobody knows whether the person who wrote those words survived the Holocaust or not. I was so touched by the hope that this person held even in the midst of deplorable and desperate conditions, and I was encouraged to apply this determination to feel hopeful in my own life.

The past year has been a very difficult one for me. I have lost people (and a beloved dog) that I loved and will likely lose my grandmother before the year is out. I have integrated one of my most traumatizing memories, and I continue to wrestle with integrating the pain, terror, and despair held by that wounded inner child.

I have struggled a lot lately with feeling enveloped by the despair, but I know that there is sunshine outside of the dark clouds around me. I need to keep on hoping and believing, even when I cannot feel the warmth of the sun.

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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