***** religious triggers *****
On my blog entry entitled Talking Very Fast When Triggered, a reader posted the following comment:
If I may briefly touch on the subject of religion: I hate to question your beliefs, but I’ll admit that I’m curious about how you reconcile the idea that god is all-powerful, all-merciful, and loving, with the fact that he allows things such as this to occur to innocent children? ~ Lagore
This is a great question, and I have written on issues of faith on my blog a number of times. I wrestled with the answer to this question for many years and finally reached a place of peace within myself.
The book When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold Kushner talks about the same thing. If we assume that God is all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-good, then why do bad things happen to good people?
I think where we go wrong is that we have the expectation that life is about being comfortable and safe and that, if we do X, Y, Z, then God will keep us comfortable and safe. That is contrary to what the Bible has to say:
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. ~ John 16:33
Jesus was very clear that we would “have trouble” in this world, so it is an unrealistic expectation to believe that God is guaranteeing heaven on earth. It simply is not biblical.
The Bible has numerous charges to take care of the widow and orphan (the weakest members of society). When that does not happen, it is not God who failed to act but MAN. I do not believe that God is responsible for the Holocaust. God’s people who failed to act soon enough are accountable. I apply the same principal to child abuse. God has called US to prevent it. At no point did God promise that no innocent will be harmed.
So, then where does God come in? Jesus’ first job description was to heal the brokenhearted. (See Isaiah 61:1.) This assumes that hearts will be broken on earth. God provides the hope of healing and then wants us to extend that hope to others.
I also embrace a belief in reincarnation, which I believe is the missing part of what Christian doctrine teaches. I believe that the point of being on this earth is to learn life lessons that mold us into becoming more like God. I believe that, with each lifetime, we learn different lessons that shape into the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control).
The only way to know if those past life lessons have “stuck” is to endure a painful life that would not produce this “fruit” on its own. There was little in my childhood to produce these “fruit” in me, but somehow I grew up to embrace many of these attributes. Where did my compassion come from? I think it came from previous lifetimes. If I can endure a childhood like I had and grow into the person that I am, I believe that this is like a “final exam” of sorts showing that who I am is stronger than my circumstances.
I believe that all of us are one (the “body of Christ”). When I am good and kind to you, I am good and kind to myself as well as to God because we are all intertwined.
Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
Is there no subject you will not tackle? Smile
I believe in reincarnation. I go with I know what I need to know from past lives and do not need to make effort to “go back to them” It happens sometimes, it is just a it happens thing.
I believe that we are spiritual being having a human experience not humans that sometimes have spiritual experiences.
I have studied some religions, some “ways of life” and belonged to a church as a adult and a child. For me spirituality is not a word thing and for me not anyone else s words. There is both my spirituality and a shared spirituality not separate yet different.
I most often see evil as being an absence of good. Although sometimes it feels I was with pure evil.
My faith has changed as a result of remembering. It has become less cut and dried, more honest and while embracing a ton less dogma, become extremely personal. When I started remembering, I was afraid to ask “why?” but one day felt like God was saying (no audible voice, just a knowing) “Ask me the hard questions.” So I do.
I follow Jesus, but seldom use the “Christian” moniker (altho my first 48 years were very fundamental). I have been learning about love versus fear and control. Have been learning that, for me, pain is not the enemy, it’s often a catalyst, but fear…(not the avoid sticking a knife in the light socket kind, but the flee or fight kind) is. I am learning that a God of love allows us to choose because love must be free, but choice is a dangerous thing and we humans often choose badly…often out of fear or for control. ANd suffering results. My question every day is “Am I choosing Love or fear?” (I dont always like what I discover, but it is simple enough to get me centered again when I get all off kilter.)
I feel like I’ve barely touched the truth of spirit, and spirituality. I just know that there is much more going on than I see. Have I said too much?
ruby
Ruby, I feel really touched by what you shared here. Thanks especially for your daily question “Am I choosing Love or Fear?” I’m going to take that to heart.
Warmly,
blueorchid
i believe that we are here and now and that that is all there is.
i observe people who believe that there is something better beyond this life and this world. some people seem to believe this to the extent that they appear to invest more energy into what might be but cannot be proven, as opposed to what is tangible here on earth.
maybe the god theory is simply a myth created long ago to explain what was then inexplicable [science] and/or to give people a reason to continue in adverse circumstances over which they had little control.
i hope that those of you in the world who invest so much in god are not , in the end, disappointed.
for me, what i have on earth, in all its glory and majesty, is enough. yes, there are atrocities – i have known them – but it is still a beautiful world. i do not need to pray to a god to feel the sunshine on my skin or the warmth of new turned soil.
“Is there no subject you will not tackle? Smile”
Nope! I love tackling the tougher topics. :0)
– Faith
Haha, I feel so terribly important, having caused you to write two separate entries. I was wondering, what do the “triggers” warnings I see on some of your entries mean?
Anywho… if I can continue our religious discussion: so you contend that the evil of the world is caused by humans. An obvious enough answer. But what does god do as he looks down upon the evil that his children create? He should easily be able to prevent these terrible things from happening and spare the innocent victims. The fact that he doesn’t means that either he is willing to allow the innocent to suffer, or he does not have the power to stop it. Perhaps he does have a purpose for allowing this suffering, as you seem to imply (if I understand you properly). But the fact remains: the lord, who is supposed to be all-loving allows unspeakable acts to be inflicted upon the nicest, kindest, most devout, and most innocent of his creations. God could have hypothetically created a world where there is no pain and suffering, and his creations are only ever filled with positive emotion, but he didn’t. In my mind, the only logical conclusions to make of this are that:
1.) God is not truly all-powerful.
2.) God is not truly all-loving.
3.) God does not exist.
And what of natural disasters, disease, accidents, and other forms of suffering and pain which humans do not cause?
Hehe… sorry for the somewhat confrontational answer. I just really like these kinds of discussions.
“Haha, I feel so terribly important, having caused you to write two separate entries. I was wondering, what do the “triggers” warnings I see on some of your entries mean?”
Hi, Lagore.
I frequently use comments that people have posted as a springboard for further discussion. :0)
Trigger warnings mean that something in the blog entry could cause a child abuse to survivor to have a flashback. I try to be specific about what type of material is in the blog entry, such as religion or sexual abuse. That way, if a reader is in a bad place, he or she can make the choice about whether to continue reading. This is a courtesy used on most sites for people with a history of trauma or other severe issues (such as a board for people who wrestle with self-injury).
I LOVE to have discussions about faith, so I will write a response to your comment later this week. I am too tired to do it tonight. :0)
Take care,
– Faith
I am supposed to be writing out a Rule Of Life for one of my seminary classes right now. It’s a short summary of the spiritual practices we want to keep. One of mine is probably going to be “yell at God sometimes.”
I have an explanation for how horrible things can happen, both the ones that happened to me and for others, that makes sense in my head which a lot like yours, but I find that for my faith to thrive it’s also important to let myself be angry. To say, “this isn’t fair and it sucks, and what we’re you thinking?” I can’t let it go until I let myself feel it, an letting it sit deadens my faith.
I am posting this here because many people feel that they’re not allowed to have those kinds of feelings, to be angry at God, and perhaps someone else reading needs to see it.
Hi, MoonlitDorian.
I fully agree. Until we pour out the anger, there is not room to fill our cup back up with grace. David expressed his anger and frustration to God, and God called him a man after his own heart. :0)
I find it odd that some people think that anger is one of the “seven deadly sins.” (I would replace it with bitterness.) If anger is a sin, then God and Jesus are both “sinners” because both clearly got angry, as the Bible records. It is what we DO in our anger that can become the problem.
Thanks for pointing this out.
– Faith
[…] my blog entry entitled Reconciling Child Abuse and Faith/Religion, a reader posted the following comment: Anywho… if I can continue our religious discussion: so […]
Well, for one see Cor 2 3-11v
This is a huge topic for me. I largely stay away from it. I’m just not there yet. I cannot reconcile this for me yet, especially since all of my abuse was in the context of religion (by a priest). But I wanted to acknowledge your post and thank you for bringing it up. Paul
Hi Faith!
I have had alot of trouble with religion since dealing with my diagnosis and all of the pain and hardship I have endured. I really haven’t been able to go to church or feel the connection to the holy spirit that I used to. I know tho that DID was a gift from God so that I could continue on in life until I got to a place where I could stop and work to heal. I am in that place but it is so discouraging to think that I will spend the rest of my life recovering from what the abusers did. I thank God that there are people out there that know what their doing and can help me.
What has helped me the most with this turmoil is looking at my children. If I had it all to do again I would…just to get to them. I know that children are a gift from God and I will never shove it back in his face by hurting them.
God gave us the knowledge to choose. If you or I were God wouldn’t it be huge to you that in a person’s worst moment in time…or worst state of mind…when he or she is at the very lowest…he or she can still believe and have faith? This is what I wonder about when I think of all that happened to me. Why was I tested so much harder than others? AND…because I still believe after all of that…is my faith worth more to God than that of someone who has had everything in life? I do know that in this lifetime we must prove ourselves to Him. Not the other way around. And further…when I think of Paul…how much more satisfaction can the devil get than by infultrating God’s church and doing his evil under the disguise of a holy person? I don’t think it gets much more powerful for evil than that. I don’t think that evil has any boundaries or preferences. The more tragedy and shock it can bring about during it’s reign the more satisfaction it gets. Evil even desensitizes people as it grows and convinces people that things aren’t really as bad as they think.
I know that I am a very forlorn and weary child of God. I am sorry to him that I could not hold up my faith and be true to it…sometimes a soul just gets too battered. If any of you have been able to hold tighter to him than I have…please pray for me. …nice subject, Faith. :o)