Archive for September 1st, 2009

As I shared in this blog entry, I have been listening almost exclusively to Christian music for the last few weeks. I am happy to report that I feel great! I even received a letter from my mother/abuser over the weekend, and it did not even rock me. I am trying to enjoy this zen plateau while it lasts.

I credit at least part of my zen to listening to uplifting music. I don’t think that the issue is listening to Christian music necessarily (which is good news for those of you who are triggered by religion). I think the credit goes to channeling my thoughts to positive places.

I am really not sitting around thinking about G*d all day, but I have been thinking about positive things much more frequently than I usually do. I look around and see the beauty in nature – the gorgeous trees, the warmth of the sun, etc. I suspect I would accomplish a similar outcome if I switched to listening to New Age music or soothing instrumental music, such as anything by Jim Brickman.

The thing is … I don’t typically choose uplifting music to listen to. I am more of an Evanescence gal. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with listening to Evanescence – I do it quite a bit, actually. The mood of the music is just what I need when I am struggling with the pain of child abuse. (Does anyone love the songs Tourniquet and Whisper as much as I do??) While listening to Evanescence is great for validating my pain, it does nothing to pull me out of my funk.

I am also drawn to pretty much anything melancholy, so I listen to sad songs about betrayal and such a lot. Then, I wonder why I feel depressed, isolated, and alone so much. Go figure.

So, I have decided to do an experiment. I plan to listen to nothing but uplifting music through the rest of 2009. I won’t necessarily stick with Christian music (although I am enjoying it immensely right now, especially listening to the band SonicFlood and already have their CDs on my Christmas wish list). When I get tired of that type of music, I will explore more piano, classical, and New Age music. The idea is to remove the melancholy influence of my typical listening choices and see how that affects my seasonal depression that kicks in at Halloween and doesn’t lift until after the New Year. If listening to uplifting music has the power to break that dismal time of the year for me, then I might never switch back.

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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