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Archive for October 8th, 2009

Right on schedule, I am struggling emotionally as we have moved into October. This is really getting on my nerves. I have been taking all sorts of measures to protect myself from “losing it” during this three-month period, but it is a real battle. For example, I am only listening to positive music and going to Reiki. Nevertheless, I keep finding myself overwhelmed with anxiety and just wanting to curl up into a ball and sleep through the next three months.

I don’t like when I get this way. In fact, I was so angry about it last night that I begged myself to “enlighten me” about what the problem is. Do I have an alter part that is triggered by this time of year? If so, let’s heal that trauma so I can check it off my list and stop feeling I-N-S-A-N-E for three months out of every year. No dice. I fell asleep without getting anywhere.

I keep trying to use my tools – deep breathing, taking time out for myself, etc. I seem to be able to pull myself out for a little while, but then the waters close in over my head again. I do better in the morning, and then by the evening, I am ready to down alcohol, food, Xanax, or anything else that will relieve the anxiety.

Can anyone else relate?

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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