Archive for November 18th, 2009

As I have shared before, I am working through a Beth Moore study on the patriarchs of Genesis. The stuff I read yesterday has got me thinking (which really is the point of a Bible study, right?). Beth talks about the “stronghold of deception” and how it is passed down from parent to child. She says:

Deception, passed down through example from parent to child, can be a frightfully contagious approach to life. If honesty is not held in high esteem and practiced in the home, children learn the destructive art of deception. Unless something dramatic breaks the cycle, it carries into adulthood and can invade any realm of life. ~ The Patriarchs pp. 114-115

I am not sure how I feel about that chastisement. On the one hand, in a perfect and safe world, being honest all the time sounds idyllic. However, my childhood was anything but idyllic, so deception is all I learned. I learned how to look someone in the eye and lie convincingly because, if anyone learned my secret, then my sister would die. Yes, in adulthood I realize that my abusers were just protecting themselves, but as a child, I believed this. When I looked the police officer in the eye and said that nobody was hurting us, I did it to save my sister’s life. I could not distinguish between the power to kill a dog and the power to kill a child.

So, as a parent, I don’t come down hard on my son for lying. (Also, he is very bad at it!) Because of my son’s special needs (attention-deficit hyperactivity – ADHD) and immaturity, I don’t know what is a normal part of childhood in “telling stories” and what is me passing along my “stronghold of deception.” I know my son did not leap over a 10 story building, so why would I punish him for telling me a story about doing it?

What are your thoughts on the “stronghold of deception.” I am not convinced that always being truthful is a good thing. How can my kid protect himself if he cannot deceive the bad guys and escape? Am I pouring too much of my own s@#$ onto my kid?? I don’t know.

Photo credit: Amazon.com

Read Full Post »