Yesterday was not a good day. I had to return a bunch of phone calls (which I hate doing), one of which was rescheduling my son’s appointment with his attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) specialist. She worked at a psychiatrist’s office and has a degree in pharmacy, so she was very knowledgeable in medications to help my son sleep and eat when he became a skinny insomniac thanks to his ADHD medication. We worked together for almost two years, and we had reached a place where all of his medications were working well for my son.
Just like that, she is out of our lives. Nobody even bothered to tell us that she left the practice. I have no idea if she retired, moved away, was fired, or moved to a different practice. She is just gone, and the office is giving me no answers. Now, I am in a position of having to start from scratch. I have to find another doctor, go through evaluations again, and find someone who will meet my son’s needs. I am so frustrated I could spit nails.
All of this triggered my issues with feeling abandoned during the holidays. I know that this woman did not technically “abandon” us, but it sure feels that way. This is another person who was a part of our lives for two years and is now just gone with no goodbye or other form of closure. It just plain stinks.
Of course, my son does not remotely care. These are all my own issues. If someone is going to leave me, it is always at this time of year. During the holidays is when friends announce that they are moving away, doctors drop me, etc. It’s no wonder I hate this time of year.
I even got some really great news today (that a grant I wrote won $500 for my son’s school), but I couldn’t feel joy because I was so overwhelmed with this news. I was so incredibly triggered. I doubled my Xanax dosage, drank some wine later in the day, binge ate, etc. I cried off and on all day. I still feel lousy.
Hub works with a lot of doctors, and he is going to see about getting us a good referral. At least he is taking a proactive step toward fixing this mess. Every direction I turned was a big fat disaster.
Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
Blooming Lotus 
I am sorry you have to deal with this. You might find this site helpful.
http://www.wildestcolts.com/
I know how you feel, and I’m very sorry this happened to you.
I had a similar experience. On two separate occasions I had doctors suddenly refuse to see me anymore. They both sent form letters stating that they would no longer treat me, with no explanation whatsoever. The second one had even promised that he would never do that to me. What made it worse, is that I was on medication which had to be freshly prescribed each month (no refills allowed), and suddenly found myself without a doctor to prescribe it.
Faced with physical withdrawal from suddenly stopping a medication was bad enough, but add in the emotional roller coaster, feeling rejected, unworthy, lied to, and who knows how many negative emotions, all rolled together. No one should have to go through something like that, and I’m truly sorry it happened to you and your son.
Hi Faith,
I am sorry. That is frustrating! and worrisome. But hopefully she kept a complete file which would make it easier for the doctor who comes in to help take over the care of your son. Thats really good hub is taking some action on this one. I’ve found that if I tell my hub lots of times how much I appreciate what he did, it helps motivate him (I know we dont have a marching band following us, but… they are different sometimes 🙂 )
Only the best wishes for you Faith
Palucci
Wow, that is ruff. I had that happen as I entered a hospital for pre op procedures. A man met me at the door and told me the procedure would not be done because the Dr. left town and I had no Dr. to send the results to. It took a while for me to understand it had nothing to do with me. My tests could wait, tho, and your son’s cannot. That was awful of her to just walk away and not leave you with at least a referral. i hope your husband has better luck!
Oh FAITH!
That SUCKS!!! I am so sorry. It’s especially crushing when it involves the health and well being of your son. And as you said you worked so hard to get him the right combo of meds so that he is balanced and healthy.
I wonder if your hub could ask around about where she is now… or if there is some sort of local association of med practitioners that she may be a member of… maybe you can track her down…? Maybe even Google her name along with career title and see what comes up?? Sorry for being so co-dependent, but I really hate this for you! I’m sure you’ve thought of all this, but it’s my way of commiserating. 🙂
I know it will all work out, but I hope it does so quickly!
peace,
mia
Oh yea, congratulations on the grant! That is good stuff!! (Sorry, I eclipsed that part!)
Good work!!