On my blog entry entitled Dealing with Memories from Preverbal Abuse, a reader asked the following question:
i have been in therapy for one year now. I started having memories of being a baby, I still doubt that these things are real. I also have realized that I too have a baby alter. When the baby comes out, it happens really quick. I get confused as to why this comes out. How am I suppose to know if these memories are infact real and not just my mind making them up because I want answers? ~ Wendy
Dealing with preverbal memories is tough because babies do not have any sort of frame of reference for “holding” the memories. All they know is that they were traumatized without any sort of language or frame of reference to begin to understand the trauma. If you were traumatized before you could speak, recovering those preverbal memories can be scary and feel overwhelming.
My advice is to believe yourself. You are not trying to convince a judge or jury of anything. Nobody is on trial. What possible reason would you have to make this stuff up? People who did not experience preverbal trauma do not have baby alter parts and do not experience overwhelming body memories from the perspective of a baby like you do.
Rather that put a lot of energy into questioning yourself, start nurturing that wounded little baby inside of you. Provide yourself with all that you missed as a baby to the extent that you can. The number one need you had was safety, so do you all you can to help you feel safe. Rock on a rocking chair, or consider purchasing a hammock to rock you as you needed to be rocked as a child.
If you will stop putting energy into doubting yourself and, instead, use that energy to love yourself, what harm will come? If your efforts to love and nurture your wounded inner baby brings relief, that’s all that matters.
Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
Blooming Lotus 
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I have pre-verbal memory and pre-birth memories. I trust them and know their limitations. I am lucky as I had a memory of distance and what I saw and it was verified that I moved from one apartment to another when I was 11 months.
Expecting a brain that experienced trauma pre-verbal to function the same with regards to memory as one that was not is not valid.
This is fascinating that people remember preverbal times. I think what Faith says is true… If nothing else it is wise to go with the idea that your body/(and perhaps subconscious) is definitely trying to tell you something…
Peace,
mia
Thank you Faith fir this one
anon
My therapist says, “I was traumatized in the womb” because of my defense mechanisms, expression of what happened and expression of my feelings.” I still have a difficult time think that they were real, but recently my aunt and grandmother stated some things that indicated that what I remembered was true.
I agree with Faith’s advice. However, self-comfort is difficult to learn as we are supposed to be taught that. I’m still learning and getting better at it.
[…] Here is another blog entry I wrote on the topic. You can also read more articles about preverbal memories here: […]
Pre verbal or pre cognitive memories are real but its important to understand what they are. No one can have an explicit pre verbal memory. You cant recall the memory in pictures words or in any specific cognitive context. Thats because the neo cortex hasnt developed and explicit memory is impossible. People who claim they have explicit preverbal or pre natal memories are simply wrong because their brains were not capable of making them.They are making up memories based on the emotions they are recalling in an attemt to identify them.
At birth and possibly a few days before birth the hippocampus and amygdala are functioning. The hippocampus records memories and the amygdala processes emotion. A pre verbal memory can only be recorded as an emotion. That means that when one recalls it one can only experience the feeling even into adulthood. We know from research (Richardson and Hayne) that pre verbal memory (affective memory representations) are not easily understood in words even when verbal skills are later learned. Children cannot apply their verbal ability to understand their emotional memories. Simply put adults and children who have these profound memories cant identify them in words or understand where they are comming from or what they represent. Heres an example; An infant is taken from its mother at 3 weeks and is adopted. That infant will experience shock possibly a trauma at the loss of its mother. It will record a long term memory of that loss. That memory will feel like intense grief and may also feel like anger, shame, and dissconnection. But few if any adults will be able to say I feel grief at the loss of my first mother. Unless identified that memory will haunt the person for the rest of his life even if repressed. Dont confuse this with cellular memory its a pure emotion stored in the limbic system.