I have previously written about animal alter parts. I shared at the time that I have an alter part that is a wolf. When I was a little girl, I thought the scariest creature on the planet was the wolf in the story “Peter and the Wolf,” so I created an alter part to “protect” me from my abusers. Of course, having a wolf alter part never succeeded in stopping the abuse from happening, but it nevertheless made me feel “safe” enough to fall asleep at night.
Even though I have integrated many parts and consider myself to be (mostly) whole, the wolf refuses to integrate. I think this is because I am still not convinced that I am safe when I sleep. Every night, I know that I am about to fall asleep when I feel the wolf come out. It makes me feel safe and protected, and I can fall asleep.
This past week, I took my son to the Great Wolf Lodge, which is a hotel with an indoor water park. Because of its theme, I was surrounded by pictures and statues of wolves. Talk about feeling safe!
I fell in love with a photograph in their lobby that I would like to get a print of. You can only see half of the wolf’s face as it is peering out at you behind a tree through one exposed eye. The wolf looks really tough and ready to pounce if you mess with it. I tried to find the picture online so I could post it here, but I was unsuccessful. Alas!
That picture captures what my wolf alter feels like. The wolf is always watching and waiting to leap out and protect me if I need him. I know he has my back, and he gives me the courage to let down my guard and sleep at night.
I have invited the wolf to integrate more times than I can count, but he is not ready. I doubt he will ever be ready until I feel safe at night, and I might not live long enough to ever reach that place. Alas.
Photo credit: Faith Allen
Blooming Lotus 
How interesting! I don’t have alters who are animals, tho my parents often said I should be the ‘animal’ whisperer. 🙂 I love animals. How do you ‘talk’ to the wolf alter?
Hi, Ivory.
I “talk” to the wolf just like any other alter part. It is all just thoughts in my head. :0)
– Faith
Is this it?
http://www.art.com/products/p10289526-sa-i857736/jim-brandenburg-gray-wolf.htm?sorig=cat&sorigid=0&dimvals=0&ui=d36a1c60ec154a0cbf4951ad6e42d533
Even if that’s not the same one, they have some gorgeous wolf prints available. Maybe you’ll find something else you like, too.
Thanks for the link!
No, it is not the same one, but it is very close. Thanks for sharing!
– Faith
Cool Faith.. It sounds like you have a real strong connection to this animal. What a great place to visit!
If it feels right, a good way to honor wolf for his service and protection, you can read about it’s meaning and grow to understand it further. There is a book by Ted Andrews called Animal Speak that is an incredible book which explains all about what animals mean in our lives and phsyches, lore, habits and symbolism. It’s really cool and can be used as a dictionary or a straight read. I have done both.. If I have a significant encounter with an animal, I will try to remember what I was thinking/feeling when it happened and then look it up when i get home.
I hope your week continues to get better and better!
Peace,
mia
That’s so neat, Faith! I had/have a tiger part. She integrated with another part about ten years ago but I can still remember cuddling up into her huge, warm, soft belly every night as a small child. Whenever I think of her I can feel her within the part she’s now half of, A, and A smiles at me. Like you said: my Tiger never stopped the abuse, but she sure did make me feel safe at night.
I have a variety of animal parts, including some wolves. For me they’re also about safety, as much internally as externally.
Something I’d been thinking about when seeing your entries on animal rape is how I have some parts who either are or- identify? as animals because of that. I think, to make it less shameful and painful- it’s *normal* that way, if that makes sense? (I say identify because there’s a few who I’m not sure if they’re children who think they’re dogs or childlike dogs, for example).
Another slant on things is I know we have some animal parts who were part of the RA stuff, particularly things like cannibalism- again, I think because to an animal something like that is more natural and less horrifying.
I have a wolf which is a split-off of a 10 year old boy part who was very afraid but fought anyway.