Archive for April 16th, 2010

As I shared here, I am 1-1/2 weeks into a 6-1/2 week plan to transform my body. I promised to keep you posted on my progress, so here is my first update.

So far, things are going very well. I have lost 6 pounds, and I have been exercising every day. With the exception of one day (when I was short on time), I have been exercising a minimum of an hour a day – 45 minutes on the elliptical machine plus 15 minutes of weights. I have also been eating much smaller portions.

I can’t remember if I shared this before, but someone told me years ago that, when your body gets enough food, it sighs. I thought she was crazy, but when I slowed down and paid attention to my body, she was absolutely right! In fact, it will start with a little sigh and then gradually get deeper as my body is sated. The shocking part was how quickly the sighing happened – easily a quarter of the way through what used to be a typical meal for me.

If I listen for my body to sigh and stop eating once it does, I walk away from the table feeling just right, and I don’t feel hungry throughout the day. If I disregard it, I wind up overeating, feeling too full, and then getting hungry two hours later. Weird, huh?

I must say that I have impressed myself with my ability to stay on target because this has been a rough week emotionally. In addition to the nightmares, I was triggered by seeing a picture of Russian nesting dolls and receiving a letter from my mother/abuser.

I have also neglected to share that I am driving to my hometown this afternoon (where the abuse happened) to see my grandmother, who is in ill health and probably won’t be around much longer. (That probably accounts for at least some of the nightmares.) I am meeting my sister there. Other than my sister, who also lives several hours away by car, nobody in my hometown other than my grandmother knows that I am coming. I won’t be visiting with friends, and I definitely won’t be seeing my mother/abuser.

I typically go into an emotional nosedive for weeks before and after a visit to my hometown, so I am doing extremely well all things considered. I haven’t been back in two years because it was so hard on me emotionally last time. However, I would like for my son to see his great-grandmother at least once more before she passes away, so I am making this trip despite the emotional cost. Compared to prior years, I am doing quite well.

So, I would consider the first 1-1/2 weeks a success if things were going smoothly. The fact that I am doing so well with all of this emotional “drama” going on is nothing short of a miracle. Five more weeks to go!

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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