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Archive for April 21st, 2010

I don’t know what is going on with me. I have been feeling out of sorts for the last couple of days. Part of the problem is that I have too much to do this week and not enough time to do it. My son has no school on Friday or Monday, which means I have two short weeks for getting my work completed. (My work obligations stay the same even when I lose the childcare.) I am also hosting book club at my house on Friday night, which I only do annually. I went out and bought all disposable items (plates, cups, etc.) to keep clean up to a minimum.

I cannot quite pinpoint why I am feeling “off.” Perhaps this is the aftermath of the trip to my hometown, but I haven’t been thinking much about it this week. It might tie into the approach of Mother’s Day, but I really haven’t been thinking about that, either, other than that I am excited about going out of town to see a friend.

I am wondering if I am actually feeling brave in light of my recent successes and am ready to heal another layer of crap. That is likely what is going on. I keep thinking about band camp from my junior year of high and the fact that I have no memories of it at all. And yet, there was this woman at my high school reunion a few years ago who was emphatic about thanking me for being so nice to her at band camp. Seriously, I don’t remember a thing … not even her other than that she used to say hi to me in high school, and I did not have a clue who she was. I am guessing that something traumatizing happened that week, which is why an entire week of my junior year is just “gone.”

I also keep smelling a weird scent – like a cross between talcum powder and something else – but I don’t know what it is. I am guessing this is an olfactory flashback (annoying), but talcum powder has never been triggering to me before.

So, who knows? If I have more crap to deal with, I guess I will have to do it. Oh, joy!

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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