Archive for June 4th, 2010

My sister and I were at the grocery store with our mother. I don’t remember how old we were – perhaps 9 and 7?? I don’t remember why, but someone inside the store wanted to talk with my mother in private, and she left my sister and me alone in front of the store in plain view of the street.

A man walked up to us and told us that he was a police officer. He was dressed in regular clothing, so I didn’t know whether to believe him or not. I can’t remember if he showed us a badge, but I doubt at that age that would have meant anything to me, anyhow.

The man said that he could keep us safe, but we had to tell him if anyone was hurting us. My sister and I just looked at him stupidly, saying nothing. He asked us again if anyone was hurting us, and we said no. He told us a third time that he could keep us safe, but we had to tell us if anyone was hurting us. We again said no. Then, he left.

I know why I lied. My host personality was out and did not know a thing about the abuse. The other parts of myself that did know were too frightened to say anything. I feared for my sister’s life if I told. Also, I had no way of knowing whether this was a setup by my abusers.

I like to think that the police were onto this evil group of people and that they eventually busted some of them. If that happened, it was after we moved away when I was 11.

I have mixed feelings about this encounter. If it really was a cop, why didn’t he get the school counselor to talk to us? Why didn’t he tail my mother to the next cult meeting? Why didn’t the cops try to infiltrate the group?

If he was legit, how different would my life have been if I had said yes instead of no? Would I have grown up in the foster care system? Would my sister and I have been separated? Would I have had the courage to face my abusers in court? I will never know.



Photo credit: Hekriskate

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