*******trigger warning — religion*******
As I shared before, one concern I had about beginning therapy was the cost. The therapist I found was not covered by my insurance, but I really wanted to work with him. How was I going to explain to hub that I wanted to spend hundreds of dollars a month on a shrink?
I also did not know how I could possibly tell my husband that my mother had sexually abused me. Hub already did not like her, but I feared that he would not believe me. Heck, I barely believed myself. I went back and forth every other day questioning whether I was just making this stuff up.
I had only one therapy session before hub, my son, and I were going back to my hometown to visit with my mother as well as other family and friends. My therapist (T) said that I needed to cut all personal contact with my mother (visits and phone calls) for the first few months of therapy. I balked, saying that there was no way I could do this. He assured me that, if I chose to continue having personal contact with my mother, it would greatly impede his ability to help me through therapy.
So, I worked up the courage to lie and tell my mother in front of my sister (who knew ahead of time) that I was entering therapy for “childhood issues” and that the therapist wanted me not to have phone calls or visits with any family members just for a few months. My mother was surprisingly supportive as long as she believed that my sister would be cut off, too.
Hub and I then visited with my grandparents, who gave me a $1,000 check for Christmas. They had never done this before, and there was no way I could have seen this coming. I kept tearing up because I knew this was God’s hand. Not only had I been provided with the funds for several weeks of therapy, but this gave me a segue for telling hub about the abuse. I began by saying, “I know what I want to use this money for…” I took a deep breath and told him the truth.
Hub was completely freaked out but also believed me. He talked with his parents, who told him that he needed to be 100% supportive of me going into therapy if I believed that I needed it. So, all roadblocks were cleared for me – finding the therapist, the money to pay for it, and the courage to tell hub what was going on. This was one of those rare moments when I knew as it unfolded that God was moving in my life.
Photo credit: Hekatekris
I can totally relate to this Faith….I am amazed at the awesome way God has led in my healing as well. God has never claimed that life would be pain free, He did, however, promise that He would go through it with those who choose to let Him. Good choice Faith! 🙂
barbi
I love when there are definite signs by the big guy that we are on the right path.
I’m so happy you caught a break and took full advantage of the opportunity, and still are. It’s hard to believe how much we are able to put into one life time. Sometimes it feels to me like several life time segments on a continuum. Does that even make sense?
Anyway, yay God and yay you!:-)
Peace,
mia
Hi, Faith –
I appreciate you sharing your story . . . you are an inspiration for all of us!
– Marie (Coming Out of the Trees)
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Faith,
Thank you so much for your website and the wonderful writing. I am a survivor too and still recovering. Your site is a great help.
I am getting ready to get back to therapy. I wonder if we ever get over this and over therapy as well.
Thank you much. God Bless
Paulette
[…] have an end?, Does therapy have an end?, getting over triggers, triggers On my blog entry entitled Faith Allen’s Story – God’s Intervention in My Healing, a reader posted the following comment: Faith, Thank you so much for your website and the wonderful […]