Is anyone else triggered by repetition? I think my triggering comes from the chanting that was part of the ritual abuse. Regardless of why, I am quite bothered by any sort of repetition, whether spoken or in song.
The worst is when Latin phrases are repeated, such as at the end of the Evanescence song Whisper. According to this site, this is what is being said:
Servatis a periculum [save us from danger].
Servatis a maleficum [save us from evil].
While I have no problem with those lyrics, I come completely unglued if I hear that part of the song. I always have to cut it off, or I get extremely triggered. I also used to get triggered in church by any sort of reading in unison, although I have gotten over that now. The speaking in unison that they do at my Methodist church is not typically repetitive, which helps.
I have no patience with repetitive lyrics, such as the 20+ times that John Mayer says, “Say what you mean to say,” in the refrain his song with the same name. I can’t even handle Holly Jolly Christmas due to the repetition. It makes me really cranky, which many people find hysterical. One friend asked me, “How can anyone have a problem with Holly Jolly Christmas?” My answer, of course, is the repetition. I also have little patience for church hymns that say the same thing over and over, only changing one word each time.
Am I alone in this? I never hear people talk about this, but it is, admittedly, an odd trigger, so I could see where people might be reluctant to admit to having this particular trigger. I handle it by making fun of the repetition. I joke that repeating, “say what you need to say” 36 times in a song is simply brilliant lyric-writing … not! If you roll your eyes as you say this, then it comes across as having limited patience with a lack of creativity rather than having an odd trigger. :0)
Photo credit: Amazon.com
Blooming Lotus 
I have to deal with anything repetitive or rote.
The chanting and what it is associated with causes a physical reaction with me. At its worst sounds are experienced as colors and can be like physical blows that do not leave a bruise that can be seen.
The chanting especially when you are the only one left out and it is directed toward you is like a physical force that moves through you. Made worse if it is at the end of a week of horror.
I have never memorized the complete lyrics to any song. Music at times makes me throw up. Drums in a parade make me sick.
I heal from it by staying with the physical feeling knowing it is not my fault I have this reaction and that it is normal for my experiences. That is I stay with it over time it will go away. If I stay away from it than it will stay with me.
This for me is made worse as I experienced MK-ULTRA patterning part which is having tapes of foreign languages played over and over again in a misguided attempt to have me learn many foreign languages. This was started from birth before my brain was ready for language of any kind.
I find it helpful to remember that the cults really know what they are doing. They have centuries of experience and are not fettered by any ethical or moral restraint. They have personal experiences, they know the effects. The behavioral scientists that ran MK-ULTRA although top in the field at the time were amateurs when it came to mind control which is why they subcontracted to the cults. Those in the cults today know more about the effects of trauma than those that study it. Good news is some have learned how to help healing.
I am triggered by repeating also. There are some differences, but I always thought church repetition in unison was creepy, but after I saw Rosemary’s Baby, I really could not listen to church repetition anymore without feeling sick.
Another bad one is if I say no to my son and he keeps begging and repeating over and over what he wants and gets in my face. That is the worst one ever. He brings persistent to a whole new level! My reactions are not good.
My hub has also introduced my son to the “repeat” button, both on the car stereo and his own little jam box… I still haven’t forgiven him that one. i hate hearing the same song over and over.
I also hate repeating tasks over and over, unless I am practicing to get better at something. If I’m repeating because something got lost or whatever, I get very aggravated.
Interesting, I never thought of it as being triggered till now, but it really can send me into an anger fit.
Sheesh! That was a can of worms, huh? 🙂 Sorry I just went off, but at least you know you’re not alone.
Peace,
mia
Music repetition (like the chorus and stuff) doesn’t upset me, but if other parts are repeated, it gets to me.
Also, I’m not sure if this counts, but if people repeat things to me multiple times, it upsets and triggers me.
Interestingly I quite like the John Mayer song! But can’t handle the Evanescence song either. Generally I’m ok with repetition (like in songs) so long as it isn’t everyone saying it together in unison. That is the thing that gets me. So liturgy in church where everyone recites stuff together is totally a HUGE trigger (but that is partly because everything to do with church is a massive trigger anyway as it is directly linked to stuff that happened in the past – and I actually have been unable to go to church since Jan). Even if it wasn’t in church, but in a small group – but people were saying things in unison, I would flip out. This has always been the case even before I had fully remembered all the details of what had happened.
But in other situations not related to church – if people are reciting stuff all as one it totally triggers me too – so repeating times tables outloud as a class or in an episode of Dr Who (really shouldn’t watch that programme!) all these people were stood and speaking in absolute unison like robots and that totally triggers me out.
For me it also has to do with the “energy” – like if people are repeating things in a kind of building of energy/speed way – then I it REALLY triggers me. So even if there isn’t repetition e.g. in sung worship in church – if the energy starts building and it feels like it’s getting faster or more frenetic, then I start feeling terrified.
You aren’t alone! Thank you for reminding me I’m not either.
Repetitve words don’t typically bother me. But repetitive tasks, especially hand movements, trigger me horribly. I know why (it’s probably pretty obvious to abuse survivors). I have to get up and walk around. I usually am wringing or shaking my hands when I do it.
I don’t have a problem with repetitiveness–unless it’s more than one person chanting. I experienced ritual abuse that involved chanting in another language, so that does bother me at times.
I’m usually okay with Evanescence, though I do get a little creeped out if I listen to that particular song at night, when I’m trying to fall asleep. But then, Evanescence isn’t exactly the best music to fall asleep to! However, I am perfectly okay with listening to a soft, quiet song over and over. Particularly anything with a classical feel, something with violins and cellos, like a film soundtrack–those I find very relaxing to play repetitively. It almost puts me in a trance, where I can fully concentrate on what I’m doing, whether that’s painting or writing, or trying to relax, and zone everything else out.
I can handle chanting from outside the Western/Christian tradition, but I recently got blindsided by a group chanting the Lord’s Prayer. Major, major trigger. I don’t know the story there yet, just that there is one and that my father is involved.
A few months ago I told my t that I caught myself doing a repetitive tune in my head one night to go to sleep. no words just like a ‘hm’ for about 11 beats, over and over the tune goes. I realized that this is the same tune I did when I was rocking as a kid – hours and hours I did it. Sometimes I put words to it, usually short string and repetitive. I also realized I often do this, or I pretend everyone else is dead and I am the only one alive. Or I am dead and hidden in a dark hole or cave and no one can find me. It helps me go to sleep.
Groups reciting in union freaks me out – especially in church when The Apostle’s Creed is done. What I’ve been able to figure out is that, for me, the problem is twofold 1) a group of people blindly asserting a belief in something – during the recitation I wonder if people REALLY know what they are saying, and REALLY believe what they are professing to believe – I get an absurd picture of aliens coming down to earth and everyone reciting the creed like its their name, rank and serial number… ah , sci fi…2) that an entire group of people can do/say something so automatically, trance-like, and not be bothered by it. It feels like loss of control of autonomy. It really hits to my core my fear of losing control to someone/something other than myself. The sound waves in unison feel very much like what the energy of terror feels like within me.
I was not ritually abused, and have no events specifically that involve any groups. I do however have strong associations to vibration, and the energy different feelings produce. I’ve heard it said that OM is the sound of the universe’s vibration, and every being will align themselves with the universe when they vocalize it.
For music, the John Mayer song irks me – on a creative level it seems to me just lazy. Other songs that repeat irk me for the same reason.
Music itself doesn’t trigger me, but I have to be careful to not listen too much to any one song too often or too loud. It just records right into my brain and repeats back inside my head long afterward. Routines are the same. Have a heck of a time taking meds because it is so routine can’t remember if I already took a pill- was that this morning, last night??? Gotta keep things novel to keep in touch with reality. Maybe that’s it – routine, repeating, seems too much like trancing out, losing time, losing control, getting stuck in the place I used to go to get away from the bad stuff. I don’t want to feel stuck or trapped.
When I am triggered by something repetitive, I have to “counter-act” it by making something repetitive. So if I am triggered by the congregation at church singing in unison or reciting something in unison, then I have to play a song (just the music, no words) in my head over and over until I can calm down. It is weird, I know, but it seems to work really well for me and my splits (alters). I also notice that some of my splits (alters) say chants or hum songs repetitively when they are triggered by something repetitive. I also compose my own songs on the piano and the violin and all of my songs have to have repetition in them or else I am triggered by the lack of it. I guess if I am in control of the repetition then I do better but if I’m not then I am majorly triggered.
-Bee
Yes, I have a problem with that too. Not with songs so much, but other sounds and conversations. All my children, even the youngest ones, know what repetitive means and how it bothers me, because I have told them enough times (with clenched teeth, “Please stop that repetitive noise.” Or “that conversation is over,” because they are arguing in a repetitive way.
They stop, but they think it is rather humorous. I wish it was funny, but as you know, it isn’t.
I definitely have a difficult time with repetition whether it be with music or just words in general. If something is repeated, I feel the need for it to be repeated a certain number of times. I’m not sure if this is because of the number I was given or not. I just know that I have an extreme obsession with numbers. Also, I’ve noticed that many Evanescence songs seem to relate to things that I feel. I almost feel like the words are written specifically for me. Does anyone else feel this way?
Hi, Hopeful.
Yes, Evanescence songs resonate deeply with me. I also have OCD tendencies with specific numbers as well as odd/even numbers. I have to end steps on my left foot and must check the alarm clock exactly three times. This has calmed in recent years, but it has been an issue throughout most of my life.
– Faith
I don’t find myself triggered by repetition, but I know that *me* repeating the same phrase a few times is a sign of switching. I don’t think it has anything to do with any specific phrase, but then again I can’t be sure. In case that sounds confusing: I’ll be speaking with someone, and in the middle of talking I’ll “feel funny” and repeat the same two to four-ish words a few times, and then finish my sentence as another alter. It’s kind of like a stutter, but is definitely a switching behavior rather than a speech impediment.