Archive for August 12th, 2010

Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while know that I go places that few people choose to go when discussing types of abuses and aftereffects of severe trauma. It was not easy for me to be a trailblazer in areas such as animal rape or masturbation as a form of self-injury, but I did it because I knew that there were people out there who thought they were the only ones affected by these “unspeakable” issues.

I was ashamed to talk about animal rape and never planned to go public about having suffered from this form of abuse. However, after being active over at Isurvive (a message board for child abuse survivors), I realized that it was so empowering to talk about these “unspeakable” issues. When I posted about having suffered from animal rape over there, I cannot tell you the relief I felt when others shared that they, too, had suffered from the same abuses. I found hope in being able to look people in the eye again after hearing from others who had “been there” that they were able to move past the shame.

One of the most difficult parts of healing from any type of abuse or any aftereffect of the abuse is believing that you are the only one ever affected that way. For example, if you believe that you are the only person on the planet masturbating with a hot curling iron, then you can easily believe that you are just “f@#$ed in the head” and beyond any hope of ever healing. However, when you find out that other people do the exact same thing for the same reasons, you can label what you are doing as a “normal aftereffect” of severe abuse. Suddenly, instead of feeling ashamed for being the “only one,” you can talk with other people about it and realize just how “normal” you are. You were never the abnormal one. The abnormality was the abuse you suffered that led to this extreme aftereffect.

It is so helpful for those who have healed from “unspeakable” abuses and aftereffects to share with others that they have healed. When I tell you that I, too, suffered from animal rape and that I have healed from it, that gives you the hope that you, too, can heal. When you know nobody else who suffered from the same abuse, you have no way of knowing if it is possible to heal from it or not.

Please know that this blog is a safe place to talk about the “unspeakable” abuses and aftereffects. If you don’t want to post a message in the comments, you may email me with your concerns, and I can blog about it without mentioning who contacted me about the topic. You can find my email address under the About Faith Allen tab at the top of the blog.

Photo credit: Hekatekris

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