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Archive for August 16th, 2010

This week, I would like to focus on a topic of high importance for all child abuse survivors – reprogramming your thoughts or your mind. As I have shared before, I am working through Beth Moore’s Breaking Free Bible study. I know that many of my readers are triggered by religion, so I am going to take the wonderful truths that she shares for deprogramming and reprogramming your thoughts and apply them without getting into religion. However, if you are not triggered by religion, I recommend working through this study and using your faith to help you along the way.

I am working through Week 9, which has the focus of “The Steadfast Mind.” The techniques that Beth Moore discusses have worked for me outside of the context of religion, although using your faith (if you have one) can be even more powerful. I intuitively followed her same methods to break free from some of my childhood “programming” without having the same structure that she presents. I will combine my own experience with her structured method to provide you with a way to break free from childhood programming.

Let me start by defining what I mean by childhood programming. Most of the people who are reading my blog are no longer living with their abusers, but they still feel “imprisoned” by the abuse. Beth Moore calls these prisons “strongholds.” Here are some strongholds that I have broken free from that might sound familiar to you:

  • “I am fundamentally unlovable.”
  • “I cannot trust anyone.”
  • “I am not safe.”

I will use the first one as an example. The abuse I suffered as a child sent me the message that I was fundamentally unlovable. I internalized this message and fueled it with my own thoughts. As I did this, I built an internal “prison” or stronghold that held me captive for most of my life. The truth is that I am not fundamentally unlovable, but I believed it to the core of my being.

Because I believed this lie, I acted and reacted as a person who is fundamentally unlovable. I let people treat me like crap because I did not believe that I deserved better. I did not set boundaries because I thought the people (non-abusers) in my life would leave me if I made any demands whatsoever. I hated myself and would “punish” myself because I believed I deserved it.

I stayed locked in this “prison” for decades, but I found a way out. This week, I will share my method with you, which is an adapted version of the method that Beth Moore shares in her study. I will keep these blog entries free of religious triggers until Friday, but I will also use non-triggering language to point those of you with a faith to ways that you can weave your faith/spirituality into reprogramming your thoughts/mind.

Photo credit: Amazon.com

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