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Archive for August 19th, 2010

This week, I am focusing upon reprogramming your thoughts/mind to help you break free from the “programming” you experienced as an abused child. I am adapting Beth Moore’s method from her study entitled Breaking Free so that those of you who are triggered by religion can also benefit.

This week, I have shared that the first step is to recognize that you have been buying into lies, and the next step is to challenge the lies. The third step is to replace the lies with the truth. You might think that tearing down the lies is enough, but it is not. If you do not replace lies with the truth, you will find yourself right back in the same prison, or you will replace your old one with a new one (such as the reformed smoker who overeats to compensate for not smoking).

Even though my therapist got me to the point of recognizing that I had been believing lies, I had an extremely hard time believing the truth. I was so used to believing in the lies that the truth did not “feel right.” Even though I “got it” in my head, I needed the truth to filter into my heart/soul. Until it did, I was vulnerable to walking right back into my own internal prison. Having a faith can be very helpful here. (I will get into that tomorrow – that discussion will have religious triggers.) However, you can replace lies with the truth even if you are triggered by religion because truth is truth.

The three messages I most needed to hear in childhood were these: “I love you. You are safe. I’m sorry.” Because I did not hear those words or believe them, I had built internal prisons around the lies that I was fundamentally unlovable and unsafe. So, I decided to repeat those words over and over in my head.

I turned those words into a mantra. Whenever I started to think any thoughts supporting the lie that I was unlovable or unsafe, I would run this mantra through my head. I said those words to myself hundreds of times a day, and I did not believe a word of them. Despite this, I said them over and over and over again in my head.

Over time, I began to believe them. It was just a little at first, but then I started to embrace these truths. After a few months, I could truly look myself in the mirror and say, “I love you. You are safe.” This was a huge breakthrough for me along my healing journey. Once I really started to believe that I was loved and safe, I started to act like a person who is loved and safe. I started setting and enforcing boundaries in my relationships. I stopped “punishing” myself and stopped believing that I deserved to be treated badly. I started asserting my own needs in my relationships. I was not capable of doing any of these things until I actually started believing the truth – that I am lovable and safe.

Photo credit: Hekatekris

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