Progress on Conquering Eating Disorder

I have shared on my blog many times about my struggles with an eating disorder (binge eating/compulsive overeating). I actually had an 11-month stretch when I appeared to have beaten it, but I fell back into it again and have struggled ever since.

I had renewed hope after participating in Beth Moore’s Breaking Free Bible study. I have written quite a bit about some of her words of wisdom about “breaking free” from any strongholds (obstacles) in our lives. I had about given up ever mastering the eating disorder, but her study gave me hope that nothing is impossible.

I have learned some surprising things through prayer and meditation that I would like to share with you. I have come to understand that our bodies are “powered by” energy, and we “fuel” our bodies in three ways – through sleep, rest, and food/drink. We need a healthy balance of all three to be successful. Because I have a Type A personality that rarely rests, I had thrown my body off balance.

I had already completed the first steps. #1 – I needed to learn how to process my emotions rather than “stuff them down” with food. #2 – I needed to stop hating my body and, instead, love and accept it. I had already succeeded with both but was not losing weight. Then, I added #3 in April – Develop a healthier lifestyle. I joined a gym and have been working out for an hour a day (45 minutes of cardio and 15 minutes of weights) for 3 to 6 days a week. While my body has toned up, my weight refused to budge downward.

These last few weeks have opened my eyes to the lack of balance I had in my body. Because I was never resting my body, my body was constantly in a state of deprivation. Since I refused to rest it, my body did the next best thing – it “stored up” energy through constant overeating in anticipation of continued energy deprivation. The problem is that food does not equal rest and stored up food equals fat. Until I chose to start fueling my body through rest, I was never going to get out of this vicious cycle.

I instituted Thursdays as my “day off” a few weeks ago, and I felt an immediate difference in my body. It had been years (yes, years) since I had spent 8 or 9 hours in a row doing whatever I felt like doing. I chose Thursdays because this needs to be “me” time, not taking care of my family time. I also tried to slow down my pace and allow myself more down time during the day, such as actually taking a 30-minute lunch break.

Then, beginning on Monday, I found my way back to the “energy” of eating health – the same place I was during those wonderful 11 months of successful healthy eating. I realized that, even though I was now meeting my body’s energy needs, my body had not accepted that it was no longer being deprived. I memorized a Bible verse about manna, which represents your needs being met as you have them rather having to “store up” for future needs. I promised myself to eat whenever I feel hungry and stop eating as soon as I no longer feel hungry.

Guess what? In four days, I have lost 3 pounds effortlessly. Can you believe it? I am eating very small portions of food and feeling satisfied. I feel really great physically (no lightheadedness or hunger as I typically feel when “dieting”). I keep reciting that Bible verse in my head and listening to my body’s signals.

I know I have a long way to go before I can declare myself “cured,” but I am feeling more hopeful than I have in a very long time. I know that I can do this because I have done it before (for 11 months). Here’s hoping this is a permanent change for the better.

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