Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for December 3rd, 2010

Struggling

The past 2-1/2 weeks have been pretty tough, so this is just a venting blog entry. First, I had a cold, so I spent a lot of time in bed (plenty of fluids and plenty of rest). I was okay for one day (Saturday) and then came down with a second cold. Again, back to bed … plenty of fluids and plenty of rest. Unfortunately, as an adjunct online college instructor, my job responsibilities don’t just “go away” when I am sick, so I had to push through and continue working while being sick.

As soon as I recovered, it was Thanksgiving, which I cooked. I spent my first day of not feeling sick cleaning the house for company and then the second day cooking a Thanksgiving feast. Hub’s family came over, ate, and ran (they were literally here for 95 minutes – 30 to help with last minute cooking, 45 to eat, and 20 to collect leftovers), which upset my nine-year-old son. I told my son that we will have a rule next year … if you want to eat the food, you have to stick around and play a game of Monopoly afterward.

We had planned to go as a family (hub, child and me) to the zoo on Friday, but the weather did not cooperate. So, we went to a less fun indoor place, where my son caught a nasty virus. He started ailing on Saturday night, looking lethargic and pale. He awoke on Sunday with a fever that stayed over 102 for most of the next four days. This is a kid that I have to pull off walls (he has ADHD), so seeing him pale and listless was scary. I took him to the doctor’s office twice, where they ruled out flu, strep, mono, and anything with a rash (measles, etc.). The doctor thinks it was a nasty virus going around that mimics the flu without the cough – just ~ five days of a high fever.

The fever finally broke on Thursday morning, so I was homebound with an ADHD child who was bored out of his mind and wanted to get out of the house. Meanwhile, I am an extrovert who has had no “girlfriend time” in weeks and someone who also needs some alone time and has had no alone time while healthy in over two weeks. I didn’t get around to writing a blog entry yesterday because I was about to lose my mind!

I also have not been sleeping very well because I have had a feverish kid in my bed. Two nights ago, I had such a disturbing ritual abuse dream that it took me hours to shake it. I also suffer from seasonal depression, and I have not been able to use any of my tools because of my life circumstances over the past few weeks, so I have been feeling the tide of depression trying to pull me down.

And, finally, we are having issues with health insurance coverage and have had to pay over $1,000 out of pocket for both November and December for medical expenses, including four prescriptions for my son’s asthma and ADHD – two medical issues that simply cannot go untreated. I am trying to get a part-time job with a company that offers health insurance for part-time workers. That interview is tomorrow. I have to put together a five-minute “audition” of how I would teach a class, and I have not had one spare minute to practice. Fortunately, my son is going to school today (I need to take him in a few minutes), so guess what I will be doing today?

I know this is not a blog entry on healing from child abuse, but I just had to get that off my chest. It’s been a very long few weeks, and I am worn out.

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

Read Full Post »