Archive for January 19th, 2011

Continued from here.

However, that never happens at this time of year. Here are the stresses that have kept me in a high state of anxiety this January, but there is always something similar at this time of year… My son had no school for five days straight (including the weekend) due to an ear infection and inclement weather. There goes the gym, yoga, and meditation. (He has attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder – ADHD – and is very hyper with a low attention span.) I have been waiting to hear back from a part-time job I really want. I was told I would hear in 48 hours … it’s been a month. I can tell online that I have been neither hired nor “rejected” through their website – I am in perpetual limbo and don’t want to make long-term plans until I know whether I am taking on this commitment or not.

My husband scheduled a business meeting on the evening of my kid’s birthday. He is his own boss with complete control over his own schedule – he just didn’t think about it. So, I raced around like a madwoman to throw together a last minute birthday party for my kid so he wouldn’t notice that his father was “too busy” to have time for him on his birthday.

I have had a reader trying to debate me on the blog and, instead of sharing gentle constructive criticism or a different perspective, taking me on directly and accusing me of posting erroneous and harmful information for my readers. I take my blog very seriously, and if it were true that I was posting harmful stuff on this blog, it would truly break my heart. At the same time, my professional blog “disappeared.” This has all been worked out (was a simple technical issue), but I feared that three years of my writings were simply “gone” – three years of my life, with my soul poured onto those pages.

I could go on forever just about the blog. My blog has exploded in readership over the last few months. I used to consider it an amazing feat if 400 or so people read it in a day. Now, it is consistently averaging well over 1,000 page views in a day. The Black Swan blog entry alone has had over 2,000 page views at the time that I am writing this, and rather than celebrate this, I doubt myself. I wrote that blog entry to help me process a movie that resonated with me so deeply and triggered me. (I still want to write about how much of myself I saw in Nina and how that disturbs me greatly.)

To be continued…

Photo credit: Hekatekris

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