Did anyone see the news story about the man who used the Internet to encourage women to abuse their children? You can read the story here.
According to this article, Steven Demink posted headshots of a male model on the Internet and claimed to be a single father and psychologist. He would hook up with single mothers over the Internet (using the male model’s headshot, of course) and promised dates in return for engaging in sexual acts with their children, photographing and emailing the abuse, or providing live streaming for his viewing pleasure. In one case, Demink allegedly advised an autistic child’s mother to engage in sexual acts with the child to teach him about sex.
This whole story makes me sick. Not only do we have a child abuser causing harm to children all over the country, but we have mothers who are stupid enough to produce child pornography for him with their own children. What were they thinking????
As someone who suffered from mother-daughter sexual abuse, I know the level of betrayal that a child experiences when his or her own mother is the abuser. Imagine combining that with mom taking pictures and sending them to some guy over the Internet. What kind of woman wants to engage in sexual acts with her own child just to get a date? What kind of man would she be willing to bring into her child’s life?
I know I am preaching to the choir here, but I am just so outraged by this story. The focus is mostly on Demink, but Demink’s tactics would not have worked without women willing to harm their children for a date with a guy who looks like a model. I am simply aghast at this news story.
Photo credit: Hekatekris
Blooming Lotus 
“And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!” ~ Matthew 18:5-7
Hi Faith
To be honest as a sufferer of mother daughter abuse it is just pure evil and sick. There are many things to face and heal with but this has been a very difficult to say the least to accept
When we hear this stuff WOW!!!Mind blowing and makes us very angry
1/ What was the mothers even going there for?
2/ What did they think he would do to the child?
3/ Was the mothers that desperate just for a date?
Sorry Faith words actually fail us, actually feel sick reading this shows such a sense of depravity ahhhh!
Take care Faith
anon
Hi, anon.
I am sorry if that story triggered you. I, too, am sickened and angered by it.
– Faith
Faith
Thank you for the kindness but we support you 100% in getting the truth out there. You are the only person who we know who tells it how it is.
At times whatever the cost, way we look at it is through this truth and your courage one child maybe kept safe.
Thank you and please take care
anon
I was amazed during my years as a counselor how many women I had to confront about leaving their children with a known offender, usually a family member. They would defend their actions by saying, “He’s old now” (as if age offered some type of cure), or – get this- “My mother is always there”. Then I would ask, “Did your mother protect you?” This always generated a long uncomfortable silence.
Like Faith, I cannot stomach how a mother either looks the other way or simply does not care if her child is abused for her own gain. For some mothers, it seemed like their gain was simply not having to deal with the uncomfortableness of confronting family members and changing the dynamic. It was easier to pretend that the offender had been “cured” by old-age, rather than do the hard work of facing the situation.
I am so grateful that I am not among this category of mothers. My children NEVER spent one second around either of my parents (my father was my offender) when my eye was not on them. My parents should consider themselves lucky that I chose to allow my children to even know them. My parents whined some about it, but I told them straight out that they would never, ever, for as long as they lived have unsupervised access to my kids.
I cannot imagine making any other choice with my precious children.
I wonder whether it’s anything to do with the way women are conditioned from an early age to be obsessed with romantic love and relationships and to feel that if someone claims to be happily single there must be something wrong with them. Obviously there are enabling fathers too, men who’ll abandon their children to the abusive wife because they’re scared of her or have had their judgement warped by love, but I wonder how likely a man would be to buy into something like this.
As I type this, I’m trying to assess my feelings. Maybe I’m just a bit sexist. Maybe anyone from the 80% of the population who can supposedly be persuaded to either good or evil behaviour, regardless of gender, would be open to behaviour like this. I don’t intend to genderise discussion of sex crime because I think doing so is damaging, I’m just wondering whether to chalk this up as another mark against media gender stereotypes :).
Hi Bonnie ,
Thank you for your post . I have the same problem with my EX wife who just moved in with my two kids (15 &14) to live with her son who abused them for two years when they were (5&6) . I’m lost ,angry , confused…ect.
And I don’t know what to do . Last week when I asked them where they were living they lied to me saying that they live with teir mother’s friend but I know that this roomate is actually their abuser wife .
My Ex wife knows that I cannot accept that , always helped her and still helping her but she gambles .
I called the police and told them that they live with a child molester who abused them before and after investigating one detective called me saying that there is nothing in the court order that prevents him seeing them.
the problem they don’t want to live with me . I never abused them in anyway , treated them better than myself and sacrificed a lot for them .
now this guy(their half brother) is a convicted sex offender with his picture online .I can’t sleep over this .
Last year whn I called the police on their mother , my daughter get mad at me and said that when he abused us he was young and that he was reformed now.
My question which I don’t have an answer to is : can someone who is abused; willingly chose to live with their abuser?
What are my choces ?
Do you think the abuse still going on ?
Desperate father ,
Hi, Kamel.
I am so saddened by the entire situation. Perhaps a child advocacy charity can help out. ChildHelp might be able to provide you with some helpful advice:
http://www.childhelp.org/
– Faith
I did read about this and my head about exploded from anger. I was actually more angry at those women than at him because I know that there are evil sick people like him on the internet but I didn’t know that he could get mothers to do that to their own kids for a date! It was beyond sickening! My mother was not my sexual abuser but because I’ve come to know your story Faith, I immediately thought about you and everyone else who was sexually abused by their mothers and I felt such disgust and outrage. I don’t understand how so many of them could turn against their own kids for some stranger on the internet. It’s just sick…They should all go to jail.
And this is EXACTLY why I want to work for the Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force…..
That man is vile. Disgusts me.
The women weren’t stupid. They were evil. How else can you characterize someone who would use children they way they did? No one is ever that lonely.
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I really don’t think those women were “dumb” as in the sense they were “duped.” I think they did this for sadistic reasons and they take advantage of pointing the finger at the guy and playing more innocent than they are. (Of course, that man is at fault too.) Women like that take advantage of easy ways to harm others. If someone lays a path for them, they’ll gladly accept it.
I read Barbara’s post after I wrote this. Yes I completely agree.