I have noticed that some readers have recently posted incredibly insightful comments and then apologized for “rambling” at the end of the comment. I used to do this a lot myself early in the healing process, so I thought it was a topic worth discussing.
When I first started therapy, I wasn’t quite sure what to do with an entire hour devoted to me – to talking about me, my feelings, and my experiences. This was such a foreign concept to me. The words would tumble out of me, and I would feel like I was doing something “wrong” because talking about myself had never really been considered appropriate behavior before. I would inevitable apologize for rambling, and my therapist would tell me that I wasn’t rambling – I expressed my feelings in a very coherent manner.
This is the dictionary’s definition of ramble:
to talk or write in a discursive, aimless way ~ Dictionary.com
Here is the meaning of the word discursive:
passing aimlessly from one subject to another; digressive; rambling. ~ Dictionary.com
We child abuse survivors were taught from a young age that it was not okay to express ourselves, so when we actually do, we fear that we are “rambling,” but we are not. I have yet to read a child abuse survivor’s comment that “rambled” with an apology at the end. When I have read rambling comments (not on this blog), the person never apologizes for rambling … oh, the irony!
It is okay to talk about yourself – about your feelings, emotions, memories, etc. It is also okay to talk for a long time or write a very long comment. Neither is “rambling” – it is a healthy expression of what is going on inside of you, which is a very healthy step.
Photo credit: Hekatekris
Blooming Lotus 