Archive for May 18th, 2011

Administrative Note


Please bear with me in responding to comments and emails. This is the busy season for my new job. I am working well over 30 hours a week in addition to my other responsibilities, so I am very behind on reading comments and emails. I am triaging by reviewing all comments that go to the moderator queue, so all comments should be appearing now. My busy season ends 6/1, so please bear with me for a couple of more weeks. :0)

~ Faith

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Building on what I was discussing in my last blog entry, sometimes a person experiences trauma even when the one causing the trauma did not intend trauma. I see this dynamic in some of the comments posted to my blog entry entitled Enemas, Tubes, and Object Insertion as Part of Child Abuse. While the perpetrators of this form of abuse are sometimes clearly using enemas, etc., with the intention of traumatizing the child, some readers wrestle with whether or not their parents (or other adults) intended the enemas as abuse or if they truly did not realize they were traumatizing the child.

My therapist advises me to stay out of my abusers’ heads, but I am going to disregard this advice for the purpose of this blog entry because I think this is worth discussing. You can have two children who suffered trauma from being given enemas repeatedly. In one case, the abuser fully intended the enemas as part of torturing the child. In the other case, the mother/father/perpetrator was misguided in believing that giving the child repeated enemas was good for the child or at least never intended trauma. Despite the intent of the one administering the trauma, the child grows into an adult who wrestles with the aftereffects of trauma (which is why my therapist advises me to stay out of my abusers’ heads – their intention doesn’t change my experience).

I fear we might have another generation of children growing up experiencing trauma at the hands of parents who might not intend to inflict trauma. This is in the form of giving their daughters virgin waxes and botox treatments – I am talking about children as young as eight years old! Neither waxing nor botox is a comfortable experience, and I cannot fathom why an eight-year-old child could possible need either. (It sounds like this is more common in the kiddie pageant circuit – Don’t even get me started on that topic.)

My guess is that most of the parents administering these treatments to their children are not intending abuse (although I am sure there are some who are). Nevertheless, from the perspective of the child, how different is this from unnecessary enemas and tubes? How many of these children will be posting comments on my blog in 10 years about struggling with the aftereffects of trauma?

What are your thoughts on virgin waxes and botox for children? Are these treatments abusive? Do you think that these treatments are traumatizing to an eight-year-old little girl?

Photo credit: Hekatekris

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