I went to the beach this weekend with a friend. Both of us desperately needed a weekend “off” from being responsible for our families. It was amazing to do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted, even when what we wanted was to do nothing at all.
My friend wanted to go get a massage. I have never had a professional massage before. I was not comfortable undressing in front of a stranger and having a stranger put his or her hands all over my body.
When I was in the early stages of healing, online friends who were farther along in healing encouraged me to do some spiritual healing work. I opted for Reiki since no touch is involved. Even being alone in a dark room for a Reiki session was scary the first time, but Reiki wound up being a wonderful healing experience. I had Reiki sessions on and off for years.
My experience with Reiki helped me ease into having a massage. I decided to go with a hot stone massage. I wasn’t quite sure what it was, but I thought that having an inanimate object between the other person and me would be easier for me to handle. The room was very much like what is used in Reiki with the New Age music and aromatherapy. I also hit it off with the masseuse, which really helped.
I have talked with numerous women who have had massages. They all told me how relaxing and “wonderful” massage was, but not one person told me about the spiritual elements of massage. (This was my only massage, so I guess it’s possible that I happened upon a place that incorporates spiritual elements and that it is not the norm. I’d love to hear from readers if this is typical or not.)
One of the first things the masseuse did was place hot stones at two of my chakras, and they stayed there throughout the massage while I was lying on my back. We got to talking about spiritual healing, Reiki, etc. (I was also thrilled that I did not have to lie there quietly for 90 minutes. I was much more relaxed having a dialogue with the masseuse.)
The hot stones felt really great. Having the massage helped me to recognize that my body is not my enemy. I wrestle with hating my body because it was the gateway to harm – my abusers traumatized my body and caused emotional pain. Being in my body felt wonderful during the massage and helped me make the connection that being in my body can be a good thing.
It was much easier for me to stay present after the massage for the rest of the evening. I enjoyed the view of the waterway over dinner so much more than I would have if I had not stayed present.
Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
Blooming Lotus 
I suppose it depends on the way it’s promoted in your country. Maybe the reason that it’s not promoted with being spiritual is because that’s not attractive to people in your country?
It also depends on how spiritual you allow the massage to be, I suppose. How open you are to it.
It is amazing how great the effects of a massage can be. I am happy it was helpful to you.
Which reminds me. I should go get one again sometime soon. 🙂
Sincerely,
– Prozacblogger
Hey Faith,
I was encouraged in reading your blog post about this. I have recently discovered hot stone massage myself, and yes- it definitely had spiritual elements for me. I am new to it as well, and for similar reasons, as I haven’t felt comfortable with the idea of a “stranger’s” hands on me. The concept felt like a body memory waiting to happen.
I was introduced to hot stone massage when getting a pedicure recently. That was a great thing. It allowed me to ease my way into the idea.
I found it all an awakening experience, for as long as it lasted. It’s wonderful to know that such a positive “coping” or relaxing tool does just that for me. I’m glad to hear that it went well for you, and that it was easier for you to stay present for the evening. Also, glad you had the chance to get some time away to a lovely place with a friend!
Take care,
Brittany
Wow! Go Faith! You know, I use that word “wow!” in the comments on this blog than any other time… You are making such discoveries and progress it’s just the only word that springs to mind. 🙂
I have had a lot of experience with massage/healing. I’ve been in many car accidents and also have many massage therapist friends, so…. I can tell you that as your muscles hold tension and memories, they create knots which you can feel. These knots block normal blood flow to your muscles and consequently block energy flow/chi as well. As your body releases these knots/blockages and the flow becomes active again, you may feel some unexpected things, both in your body and your emotions. One of the best things you can do for yourself is drink lots of water after a massage. Stay away from alcohol and caffeine for the next 24 hours if you can and just pound water. The blockages that are created in the body release toxin when they are broken up with massage, so it’s important to flush that stuff out as soon as possible.
I don’t have much experience with the hot rocks, but it is interesting to me and have always wanted to try it. There is also a form of massage which I THINK is called Shishitsu or something.. I probably misspelled that. But it’s where the therapist has a wooden rack above their table. The rack is there so that they can use their feet to do longer, deeper strokes. I have always wanted to try that too. I hear it’s amazing, however it’s likely more expensive also…?
Most of the massage therapists that I’ve met are also abuse survivors. I think that survivors are attracted to this profession because they crave touch, but they need to be in control of it. The ritual of setting up the room/getting prepared and being in control is important to them. These same people/massage therapists are not very touchy/feely people in their personal lives. Interesting, no? Makes sense.
Anyway, I hope you continue. There are many many many benefits to regular massage therapy.
Peace to you Faith,
mia
That sounds wonderful. I think it must be lovely to have someone being nice to your body rather than abusing it. I’ve never had a massage, but it’s on my long term to-do list.
I am so excited for you! There is no better feeling than being in your body and saying “This aint so bad!”
I am not a professional masseuse, but I do have a massage table and frequently give my husband rub downs, as he suffers from chronic pain from multiple back injuries. What is occuring between us is far more than rubbing muscles. He is allowing me to touch him, trusting me not to hurt him, he is vulnerable but safe. This is a power exchange, but it is consentual, unlike the power exchanges between you and your abuser. Allowing someone you really don’t know into your intimate zone is spiritual, you are almost occupying the same space, sharing life bringing energy and experiencing it physically. I agree with Mia, it is a really great way to heal in an environment that is created exactly for that purpose. 🙂
Inspiring, Faith. Both the ‘me-time’ and the massage. I’ve had reflexology and acupuncture once or twice, both times the battle for enjoyment wasn’t quite won but blockages were nonetheless released (and I was incredibly thirsty after each to tie in with what Mia says). For me, best thing is seaweed bath.
Over the years I have had quite a few massages, however, I enjoy the quiet and have not experienced the “spiritual” element you mentioned. For me I allowed it to be a way to transition back to a place of physical intimacy via touch. I’m getting better and absolutely love the hot stones.
Very happy for you Faith. More to come yet 😀
Totally awesome. Being present in the body in a pleasurable way- I hope to one day feel that way most of the time!
I’ve never tried hot stone massage or even a massage with a spiritual element. I have worked with energy healers though, and when I experience my body in a spiritual way it changes everything and makes it ok for me to exist. I have yet to find a massage therapist to properly get all the knots and pain out of my muscles. I’m sure I’ll find someone eventually though. One thing I realized was that, it is uncomfortable being touched by a stranger, and most therapists have not taken time to move slowly, but start with quick strokes all over the place and I cannot relax enough for them to get work done. It bothers me. I wish they would just place their hands on my back slowly at first so I can get used to it. I think I’m just going to be upfront about this from now on.
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Jackie,
I would encourage you to follow your instincts on being up front. The massage is your time and experience that you are paying for. If it is not therapeutic and relaxing then they are not doing their job. That being said, most have a routine that they use as their default unless they are told otherwise.
It may feel uncomfortable to let them know what it is you want/need, but if they are a good therapist, they will appreciate it.
Good luck!
Thanks mia! Yeah, I have 2 gift certificates for massages. I’m going to use them over the next few weeks and try telling the therapist exactly what I’d like before the massage starts. You’re right- if they are a good therapist they should be able to adjust what they’re doing, or at least try.