Sorry I didn’t get the chance to blog earlier today. It has been one of those days… I’ll publish this blog entry this evening and let it serve as my Thu/Fri blog entry.
In the education world, we talk about metacognition, which is thinking about how you think. You analyze your own thought process and try to understand what factors influence the way that you think. I have been thinking about my own metacognition lately. I have more questions than answers at this point, but I think that asking questions is a step in the right direction.
One stressor in my life is having too many people dependent upon me to help them with their own issues. I am sooo NOT someone who wants a codependent relationship with anyone, yet I am awakening to the realization that I have set up several codependent relationships in my life. I invite others in to depend upon me and then get annoyed that I have all of these people depending upon me. Why do I do this? I don’t know.
So, I have been taking a step back and analyzing my own thought process. For example, I was thinking about an acquaintance and wondering X, Y, and Z about her. I thought about whether she is lonely in her life because of X, Y, and Z. I stopped myself and asked myself why I care. Why do I feel responsible for noticing lonely people and stepping in to help them feel less lonely? I don’t know. I chose to stop thinking about this acquaintance and wondering about her situation.
I am not a nosy person, nor am I a busybody. However, if I see someone hurting and have the ability to ease that hurt, I feel compelled to offer a shoulder. Why? I don’t know. My first guess is that I treat others how I wish I had been treated. So, perhaps I am trying to ease the pain in myself that was not eased as a hurting child??
Because I am not gossipy or nosy, many people do confide in me when given the opportunity. I’ll sense that they need X, and I will connect with them and offer a safe emotional place to release their pain. This isn’t something I set out to do – it just comes naturally. It is common for someone who rarely confides in anyone to open up to me pretty quickly. I frequently hear, “I have never told anyone this,” or “I never talk about this.”
While I have this gift to empathize, it doesn’t mean that I must always use it, so why do I? Why do I use it to the point of wearing myself out? I don’t know. Like I said – many more questions than answers.
Photo credit: Hekatekris