Archive for March 9th, 2012

Ahhh … finally some time to blog!!

To catch you up, I am over all of the health issues at the moment. I was battling migraines over the weekend, but I have been doing well all week and even went to the gym a couple of times. I have been working feverishly to catch up on to-do’s that had fallen behind in my offline life. I also took the day off today, including a well-needed nap. I am feeling much more like myself.

That being said, I have been dealing with several issues in my offline line involving other people’s “drama.” I put “drama” in quotation marks because it’s really not drama in the sense of people being difficult for the sake of being difficult. People who I care about are dealing with some difficult issues, and I have been trying to help them through it.

I told one of my offline friends that I had hoped that 2012 would be kinder than 2011 because surviving 2011 about wore me out. She pointed out that most of what I have been dealing with in 2012 involves other people’s stuff, which is a different dynamic. The nice thing about the issues being other people’s stuff is that I can take a break from it.

Let me tell you – When I was able to turn my brain off today to rest, it was so much easier to do than when I am triggered, as I was during various periods in 2011. I was able to lie in my bed and watch some of my favorite comedies without thinking about other people’s issues.

Learning how to be able to detach like that is such an important skill to learn in setting boundaries. It is one that I never learned as a child, and it didn’t come naturally to me. I used to think that I had to stay immersed in other people’s stuff if I really cared about them. I have come to realize that I have to follow the metaphoric version of the instructions provided on airplanes – put your own oxygen mask on before you place an oxygen mask on your child. This went against what I believed it meant to care about others. I now realize that I cannot be of help to others when my own tank is empty.

I cannot say that I have fully mastered this skill, but I am making progress. I don’t find it taxing or weighing to read comments on my blog. People can share all sorts of painful things with me, and I can care and be supportive without having to climb down into the pit with them. This comes from learning how to set boundaries – learning how to take care of myself so that I am able to take care of others.

I am still a work in progress and probably always will be, but it’s nice when I can look at myself now, compare to where I once was, and see true progress.

Photo credit: Hekatekris

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