Ahhh … finally some time to blog!!
To catch you up, I am over all of the health issues at the moment. I was battling migraines over the weekend, but I have been doing well all week and even went to the gym a couple of times. I have been working feverishly to catch up on to-do’s that had fallen behind in my offline life. I also took the day off today, including a well-needed nap. I am feeling much more like myself.
That being said, I have been dealing with several issues in my offline line involving other people’s “drama.” I put “drama” in quotation marks because it’s really not drama in the sense of people being difficult for the sake of being difficult. People who I care about are dealing with some difficult issues, and I have been trying to help them through it.
I told one of my offline friends that I had hoped that 2012 would be kinder than 2011 because surviving 2011 about wore me out. She pointed out that most of what I have been dealing with in 2012 involves other people’s stuff, which is a different dynamic. The nice thing about the issues being other people’s stuff is that I can take a break from it.
Let me tell you – When I was able to turn my brain off today to rest, it was so much easier to do than when I am triggered, as I was during various periods in 2011. I was able to lie in my bed and watch some of my favorite comedies without thinking about other people’s issues.
Learning how to be able to detach like that is such an important skill to learn in setting boundaries. It is one that I never learned as a child, and it didn’t come naturally to me. I used to think that I had to stay immersed in other people’s stuff if I really cared about them. I have come to realize that I have to follow the metaphoric version of the instructions provided on airplanes – put your own oxygen mask on before you place an oxygen mask on your child. This went against what I believed it meant to care about others. I now realize that I cannot be of help to others when my own tank is empty.
I cannot say that I have fully mastered this skill, but I am making progress. I don’t find it taxing or weighing to read comments on my blog. People can share all sorts of painful things with me, and I can care and be supportive without having to climb down into the pit with them. This comes from learning how to set boundaries – learning how to take care of myself so that I am able to take care of others.
I am still a work in progress and probably always will be, but it’s nice when I can look at myself now, compare to where I once was, and see true progress.
Photo credit: Hekatekris
Welcome back Faith! It’s so nice to see you blogging again. Very happy to hear that your health is better.
Love the mental image of you lying in bed watching your favourite comedies – wearing that metaphorical oxygen mask!
So glad you’re feeling better. The idea of detachment is definitely a hard one isn’t it? It takes practice, more practice and even more practice. I’m working on seeing and setting boundaries as well.
Sometimes I still forget that the metaphorical oxygen mask is even there and available to me – to all of us, if we want it.
Have a blessed, relaxing weekend.
Glad you are mended on on the mend.
The most important thing I learned about boundaries I learned here on this blog. And I wish I knew how to give credit to. It took a while to sink in and so I lost how wrote it.
If my boundaries are not honored, if I fail in protecting my boundaries than they are still my boundaries.
I’m glad you’re back and feeling less drained, take care x
Some of us have mistakenly believed that if we give our oxygen mask to someone else first, they will do the same. I have sadly discovered that 99.9999% of the time, they do not.
I have been following this sigth for months. Ofter I feel I am reading my own story. My brother who was 13 years older than I was my abuser. He bought with him many other buddies in my life that also became my abusers. I knew there were other victims out there but have never had personal contact with any. the ritualistic abuse, animals involved, other children invoved. seeing others killed and knowing that would happen to an older sister or my parents if I told. Abuse strarting at 4 months old, confirmed by a hospital record form the early 50’s. Always feeling guilty, I was the dirty one. God could not love me because of what was going on even though that was the desire of my heart.
[…] Boundaries: Learning to Take Care of Yourself (faithallen.wordpress.com) […]
[…] Boundaries: Learning to Take Care of Yourself (faithallen.wordpress.com) Share this:TwitterFacebookTumblrPrintLinkedInDiggEmailStumbleUponRedditLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]